Say Yes To Love (Strong Brothers 1)

So, this morning, I managed to reach for my phone on the bedside table, sent a message to HR that I wasn't feeling well, and then pulled the covers over my head with the goal of hiding from life, at least for today.

I don't know how long I was out when I was woken by a knock on the door. Immediately, my brain and my heart went to the idea that maybe it was Ryan here to make up with me. To forgive me and give me his ring again.

But my next thought was that if it was him, he was likely only here to check on the baby. He was clear that he intended to be a part of the baby's life so of course, he would be concerned if I didn’t show up to work. I considered not answering, but it would be cruel not to assure him that the baby was fine. Plus, he could use it against me somehow, so I managed to get myself out of bed to the door.

I realized I probably looked a mess, but there was nothing I could do about that now, so I opened the door. It wasn’t Ryan.

Andi’s brow arched as she looked me over. "I know I’ve been very busy with Margaret lately and she’s been having me work at her home office with her some days, but it's clear to me that I have missed a whole lot since you’ve gotten back from Europe.” Then she held up a bag from Betty’s Diner. “I heard you were sick, so I brought you some soup and to find out what’s going on.”

I opened the door to let her in, more as an automatic gesture than a purposeful invite. She was right in that she and I hadn’t talked very much since my return from Europe, so she didn't know about Ryan and our friends with benefits while we were gone, and again when we got home. And she certainly didn’t know about the baby.

“I don’t have the flu. I’m just a little under the weather.”

She carried the bag to my kitchen, setting it on the counter. She took two containers of soup and packages of crackers out, and then rummaged through my cupboards finding bowls, opened a drawer for spoons, and brought it all to the table. “Sit.”

I did as she said, again mostly as an automatic response. It reminded me of all the times that Ryan called himself an automaton, because that was a bit how I was acting. I began to understand that much of his life was just automatic behaviors. To my mind, that seemed sad, but I think he found a sense of calm in having his life settled, routine, and organized, without unexpected surprises.

Andi put soup in a bowl, pushing it to me and handing me a spoon. She then poured soup in her bowl. Initially, we ate in silence, but I knew it wouldn’t last. She was just giving me a minute to settle and organize my thoughts.

“So, your boss is going around the office today moping like he lost his best friend.” She sent me a sideways glance. “Or maybe like he lost the woman he loves.”

I picked up my spoon and started eating my soup. Andi was a good friend, and I did trust her. But she was Margaret’s assistant, and while I knew she’d keep some of my secrets, like the fake marriage, I wasn’t sure a relationship and baby was something she could keep. Not that she’d gossip or purposefully betray me. But my and Ryan’s situation was serious enough that she’d be duty-bound to tell Margaret.

“Come on Kellie, you know you can trust me,” she prodded. “Did something happen between you two in Europe? Is it still happening here at home?”

I studied her, unsure about whether or not I could tell her the situation in confidence and not put her in a bind.

“I don't know that I should tell you everything. I mean…I think it’s something Ryan needs to talk to Margaret about.”

"You think I’m going to blab all this to Margaret?" she asked, her brow arched in a way that suggest

ed she was offended that I couldn’t trust her.

“You're one of my best friends, Andi, and it’s not that I don't trust you, because I do.”

“So, what’s the problem?”

“This involves Ryan and it’s something she needs to know. As her assistant, you’d feel compelled to tell her. I don’t want to be the source of this information. It should come from Ryan.”

Andi took a deep breath, placing her palms on the table as if to steady herself, and I realized that I did hurt her by suggesting she couldn’t keep my confidence.

Finally, she said, “I’m not here as an employee of Strong Incorporated. I’m here visiting my sick friend. And anything my sick friend happens to tell me while I’m visiting her, not as her co-worker, will stay between us.

“I know you mean well—”

“No buts, Kellie. I’m here as your friend. Whatever you tell me, I’m not going to tell Margaret. I might tell you that you need to tell Margaret or that you need to tell Ryan to tell Margaret, but I won’t betray you. That I promise.”

I’d been so glad Natalie had been away because I just couldn’t figure out how I could say out loud all the pain that was in my heart without completely breaking down. But with Andi here, telling me she was here for me, it was almost like I had to let it out. Like all this pain and grief was too heavy to bear and I needed to release some of it even if by doing so wouldn’t change anything. Which it wouldn’t. Ryan and I were done, that I was sure of.

“We did have a little fling while we were in Europe," I admitted. I put my spoon down, because in reality I wasn’t hungry. I was only eating because she was nice enough to bring it to me. I cast a glance at her to see what she might be thinking. She had an expression on her face like she couldn’t decide if she thought this was good news or bad news. I think she suspected that something had gone wrong between me and Ryan, and at the same time a part of her was glad something happened during our trip to Europe.

"Did it continue when you got home?"

“Not at first, but I guess we hadn’t gotten out of each other’s systems.” Of course, I discovered last night that it had been more than that. He said that he wanted to marry me. He’d even gone out and bought a ring. So, it was something he’d thought about and planned for. It wasn’t something he did on a whim, or in the heat of passion.

“And then did something go wrong? Did you break up with him? Because I’ll tell you what, he’s no fun to be around these days. Not that he was ever the life of the party, but now he’s brusk and surly, sometimes rude. In some ways he reminds me of Noah.”

It was one thing to admit to Andi that I had an affair with Ryan, but telling her about the proposal and the baby might be one step too far. How could she not tell Margaret about that?