Noah
I remained in the conference room wondering what the hell that just happened. Had my grandmother just duped me into working for her? Granted,
she’d offered me freedom from future coercion if I found her hacker for her, but knowing her, she was hoping I’d like working for her or find some other way to hook me into the business.
But I was stronger than that. Going to Hong Kong on short notice was inconvenient to my plans, not to mention being required to spend time with Andi, but it would be worth it. I’d hold my grandmother to the agreement that when I was done, I was free to pursue my own interests with no pressure from her.
"I'm not sure if I should warn you that you might've just made a deal with the devil, or perhaps remind you to be careful what you wish for," Hunter said as he lingered behind while everyone else had left the conference room.
"I don't know what you mean." Of course, that wasn't lately true, because I was feeling a bit the same myself. My grandmother didn’t grow a business empire without being wily.
"Well, you do this for Gran and the company, and then you’re free. But I wonder if that's really what you want. It could be that you will discover being detached from the family isn’t what you want after all.”
I huffed out a breath. Maybe Gran was sending Hunter to do her dirty work now. "Since when do you care so much about what I do or what I don’t do?"
Hunter cocked his head. "You don't really think that we all don’t care about you, do you? Sure, we ride you a little bit because you're the baby. But you're our brother so of course, we want you to be happy. I just wonder if you really know what that means for you."
"The problem is you all think that my future, my happiness is the same as yours. Working in this company and probably getting married. I would think someone like you, Hunter, would understand that maybe I have interests outside this company.
He nodded. “I do have my own interests, and I haven’t had to give them up. There's nothing that says that you can't pursue those just like I do, assuming we’re talking about something other than riding a motorcycle and womanizing.”
I glared at him. “You’re all for my personal interests, but only if I still work for the company. That doesn’t feel like much of a choice. I'm either in or I'm out —"
"And you’re choosing out?" Hunter stared at me hard, and I didn’t like feeling guilty. I wasn’t leaving the family. Why did they treat me like a traitor for wanting something else?
"Nobody's going to push you out of this family, Noah, but I have to wonder if maybe that's really what you want."
For some reason this conversation was going off the rails quickly. "I don't want out of the family, Hunter, I just want to be free to do what I want to do and be who I want to be. It doesn't seem that much to ask considering the rest of you do that. I don't remember people telling Carter, he can't travel, or you not being able to open a restaurant —"
"No, but we're still here for the family, for the company, even though we do those other things. I know you Noah. I know you're thinking of moving away. Of course, you are. Silicon Valley is where your tribe is, and we really do want to support you in whatever it is that you want to do. My point is that you should be sure that it really is what you want to do. Are you just running? Are you prepared to be away from Gran? From dad?”
“Silicon Valley is less than six hundred miles from here. It’s not like I’ll be the moon and can’t come visit.”
He nodded. “It just feels like you’re fighting something. Or maybe you’re trying to prove something. The point is, I’m not sure your goals are for the right reason, and I’m just saying that whatever you do, make sure you’re being true to what you want. Riding your motorcycle, sowing your oats, that’s all fine. You’re young. But it’s not something to build a future on, even in Silicon Valley. Someday you have to grow up, Noah.”
“Not so long ago, I would have thought you’d be the last person in the world to tell me that my lifestyle was wrong.”
"There's a time you would've been right, but I've learned that sometimes we think we know what we want, but in fact the choices we’re making are all about avoiding something else. And what we really want we’re too afraid to believe in or go after."
I scoffed. "Now you're contradicting yourself. One minute you’re telling me I shouldn’t go after my dreams because I might not really want it, and now you’re saying if I don’t go after them, I might regret it."
"What I'm saying is you want to be sure that what you think you really want is what you really want." Hunter stood with his hands on his hips. "All that techie computer stuff, you can do that here. You can't tell me that this Hong Kong thing isn't right up your alley.”
I nodded and conceded that it was.
"So, what's the big deal? Why is it that you're so adamant that the thing you want to do can't be done here? You’ve got a great situation handed to you here. Anyone else would be thrilled."
I looked away, because I wasn't about to admit to Hunter that I didn't feel comfortable being handed a job because I knew I wouldn't be respected as having earned it. And then of course there was Andi.
Hunter looked outside the door as if he was checking to see if anyone was there. Then he closed the door slightly. "This trip we know is exactly the type of thing that you like to do. So, I'm wondering if part of your reluctance has to do with Andi?"
How the fuck did he know? "Why would you say that?"
Hunter smirked at me. "You might have everybody else fooled, but I see how you look at her when you don't think anybody notices. You've got the hots for Gran’s assistant. And now you're about to go off on a trip to Hong Kong working in close quarters."
I waved his comment away. “You should get your eyes checked because you’re seeing things Hunter. You don’t seem to have noticed that she hates my guts.”
He grinned. “I wouldn’t be so sure about that.”