and you'd still tell me no?"
I had to turn away, because my guilt and shame wouldn't let me look him in the eyes. Now was the time to tell him the truth.
When I finally gained the strength to look at him again, the truth was not what came out of my mouth.
17
Carter
"What's the catch?" Jess asked.
Jesus. Was she really going to turn down a hundred thousand dollars for a month of work? It was difficult not to take her rejection so personally. Was there something so egregiously wrong with me, that $100,000 couldn't overcome? For a moment I entertained that perhaps this was the line. I wanted her, there was no doubt about that. But a man had his pride.
I took a moment to settle my nerves, and then said, "Look, if I'm so distasteful to you that $100,000 isn't enough to entice you —"
"I never said that."
"Then what the hell, Jess? I need a physical therapist. You are a physical therapist. I want someone who's good, and clearly you are good. So, what is the problem, because I'm really getting sick and tired of being made to feel like I'm some sort of fucking leper." I knew my responses over the top and clearly, I hadn’t gotten my frustration under control.
I suppose it was rich of me to get so angry at her, when in fact I was duping her. Perhaps Noah was right, and this scheme was going to crash and burn.
I gave her a minute to respond, but when she didn't, I decided that perhaps I had reached the limit. "You know what, never mind. If you don’t want to help me, that's fine. Give me the name of that sports physical therapist and I'll just give him a call and the hundred grand."
Tears began to well in her eyes, and it made me feel like an asshole, which in turn annoyed the shit out of me. I was offering a job and shitload of money. Why was she crying?
"Oh geez, don't cry. I don't know what you want from me, Jess. Tell me. Tell me what I have to do because I'm at a loss here."
"It's not you. I'm just…Things are really complicated that's all."
The only thing I could think of was Reggie. I was about to ask her about him when she said, "Yes, I'll help you. I can't live-in, though, but I'll help you."
I guess I hadn't hit my line yet because the first thought I had was I would take any crumb she would offer me.
"All right then. When can you start?"
"I can start tomorrow."
Inside I was jumping up and down but on the outside, I tried to stay cool. "Good. Thank you."
She rose from the couch. "I do need to get going now though."
I wondered if this Reggie had her on a short leash or something. But I pushed the thoughts of Reggie and who he might be to Jess out of my head. I wasn't normally the type of man who went after a woman who was involved with somebody else, but deep down I felt like Jess was mine. I'd certainly had her before Reggie did.
Even so by the time all of this was said and done, it was quite possible, I was going to need a shrink to sort out all these crazy thoughts and feelings I had where Jess was concerned.
I started to stand up too, but thankfully Jess waved her hand. "No, I can see myself out. You keep that knee iced and elevated."
Oh yeah I. was supposed to be injured. "Well see you tomorrow then. Thanks again, Jess."
She nodded and then made her way back out to the foyer. I stayed where I was until the front door shut and I heard her car start.
Then I got up, took the ice pack and tossed it back in the freezer, and began to make the phone calls I needed to hire people to set up one of the rooms downstairs into a bedroom since I shouldn't be taking the stairs. Next, I ordered groceries and made sure the gym was ready for Jess to use. I was a little disappointed that I didn’t need to set up a guest room, but I would take what I could get from Jess. Then again, it was possible I could convince her to change her mind. So, I decided to set up a guest room after all.
A little later, the grocery order arrived and I was helping them bring the bags into the house. I was striding down the stairs to get the last of it when my grandmother's car pulled up. I walked over to greet her, giving her a hug.
"I came over to check on you because I heard that you had a knee injury that was laying you up, but it appears as if you've had a miraculous recovery. Either that or your father heard you entirely wrong,” she said.
I shook my head. "No, he heard me right. I'm feigning an injury."