Endlessly (Paranormalcy 3)

"They aren't going to want to be rescued. They don't even know they need to be. "

"It's true," I said, frowning. "They looked super happy. All of them. Even the ones in the dance, but I'll have Reth send other Seelies after them. " I shuddered, curling my toes. My feet still hurt, but with the faerie soul in me, it was more like an annoying fly buzzing in the next room. I noticed it, but it didn't affect me. "With everyone else, it's part of the faerie magic-when they kidnap you, you want them to. " I would have happily gone with Reth back when he first started paying attention to me. It would have been a dream come true. I shuddered.

"And once you're there," Jack added, "it takes over everything. You lose who you were before. It kind of floats away from you until you can't remember and don't care. "

"How did you keep ahold of yourself?" I asked Jack. "I mean, you're not exactly blissed out over faeries. What was different?"

He started tapping the knife on the granite counter, a plinking beat. "I dunno. "

"There has to be something. Think. "

He shifted uncomfortably, the beat going faster until it was a staccato nightmare. "I think. . . I think it was my name. "

"That makes sense-repeating my name to myself is how I kept from going under the Dark Queen's influence. But why won't the others know their names?"

"I-" Lend reached out and snatched the knife away from Jack, who glared at him but kept talking. "It's one of the first things most people lose. Because no one ever uses it, and the faeries don't care-they call you other things, give you a new name, and it sort of leeches your old one away along with all your memories. The faeries are very, very good at taking everything. "

His big blue eyes looked haunted as he stared blankly at the countertop. I put my hand on top of his. "But how did you keep yours?"

He blinked quickly. "A song. It's the only thing I remember from before. I think my mom sang it to me; just this silly, story song about Jack the Clever Boy. " He paused, then in a soft voice started singing, "Jack is clever, Jack is strong, Jack is Mommy's favorite song. Jack is sweet and Jack is good, loves his mother like he should. Jack is precious, Jack is mine, knows I love him all the time. " His voice broke toward the end and he cleared his throat. "Umm, yeah. Like that. I don't remember anything else about her or my life before, but she must have sung that song to me a million times, because even in the Faerie Realms I could always hear the tune and remember the words. So I never lost my name. Then as I got older I figured out the longer I could stay away from faeries, the more I got myself back, could make my own decisions. "

Even Lend looked sympathetic. How could we blame Jack for all his crazy when this was all he'd ever known, when even holding on to himself was an epic struggle?

"Okay. " Lend leaned back and ran his hands through his hair the same way his dad often did. "So all we have to do is figure out the names of the hundreds of people there?"

"Yeah, that's not going to happen. The only name I know is Carlee's. "

"I liked her. " Jack's voice was almost wistful. "When she smiled, you always knew she meant it. I hope she's still herself. "

"We'll get her back. " Lend put his hand on my shoulder. I leaned my head against his skin, trying to figure out some way, any way we could make the name thing work. Jack, who apparently always had to be moving in some way, had made up for the missing knife by grabbing a half loaf of French bread and methodically ripping it into tiny pieces.

"Wait," I said, narrowing my eyes. "Why don't faeries like bread?"

"Hmm?" Jack looked up, then shrugged. "I dunno. "

Lend picked up a piece, crumbling it. "My dad said he thought it was because it was the staff of life for people. "

"Nasty stuff tastes like mold," Jack said. "I tried a piece once a while ago when I was still trying to force myself to eat normal food so I could stay here. It was like a shock to my whole system. " He shuddered at the memory.

I sat up, an idea forming. "We can't take iron through the Faerie Paths. Do you think we could take bread?"

"Why?" Jack asked, wrinkling his nose.

"A shock! That's what it felt like when we were stuck in the dance and Reth said my name. It was this huge jolt that got my mind off the track the faerie music had stuck it on. Maybe we can use bread to knock the people's brains off their faerie high! Get them to start thinking clearly!"

Jack scratched his head, his blond curls sticking up at a funny angle. "You know, that might actually work. " He grabbed a handful of crumbs and walked over to the wall, putting his free hand against it and concentrating. The light traced out a door and opened into black. We all held our breath as he took the hand with the bread and shoved it through. It didn't stop dead like anything with iron would. He turned back to us, letting the door close, and grinned.

I jumped up, my hands in the air. "Yes!"

Lend laughed. "Okay, looks like I need to make a run to the grocery store. Do faeries hate wheat or white bread more, you think?"

"Get bread with raisins," I said. "Everyone hates raisins. "

Jack was bouncing, obviously excited. "That's all we need, right?"

"We need Reth. "

"No," Lend and Jack whined in unison.