Endlessly (Paranormalcy 3)

They looked at us, surprised but not shocked, and I waved. "Hi. Anybody know where I can find Raquel or David?"

Most of them pointed, all in opposite directions. Great.

"I'll be upstairs if you need me, okay?" Jack looked exhausted, so I nodded and waved him away, picking which room to look in next at random. The kitchen was closest, so I dodged around the minglers and pushed my way in, relieved to see Raquel standing at the counter, talking with a couple of werewolves.

"You're back!" I said, squeezing in to stand next to her.

"Evie! We'll finish discussing this later," she said, nodding at the werewolves, then taking my hand to lead me through the crowds and into the empty office, where she shut the door behind us. I sank down onto the old, worn leather couch. I half expected her to sit behind the desk in our usual arrangement for debriefing, but she sat next to me instead.

"How did it go?" I asked.

"Remarkably well. IPCA was expecting a faerie assault, so for a huge group of us to walk in and calmly ask for the release of all the paranormals was something of a shock. The workers at the Normal facility didn't want to fight us or hurt humans and werewolves, so in the end we simply had to agree to let them come with us and protect them from any IPCA repercussions and they let everyone walk out. "

I laughed, putting my head back against the couch and closing my eyes. "Of course, the job I don't end up doing myself would be the easy one. "

"How did everything work out in the Faerie Realms?"

I told her about my last few hours, after checking to make sure we hadn't lost more time than that.

Raquel made a thoughtful noise when I finished, then brushed the hair away from my face. "How are you doing?"

"I honestly don't know. The girls, the ones pregnant with Empty Ones? They're never. . . they're never going to be okay. And Reth said-Well, I can't help but wonder how much of this mess, all of it, is my fault. "

"None of it is your fault, honey. "

I shrugged, too tired to argue or to even open my eyes. "It is, it isn't. Where can you trace the line and say here, here is where I messed up, or here, here is where the connection between myself and this event stops mattering? You can't. But I'm doing my best. "

"I know you are. " She sighed, an I wish I could help you more with this sigh, and it made me smile. "If it helps, I'm very proud of you. I know it has nothing to do with me, but watching you become the strong, smart woman I always knew you'd be is one of the greatest joys of my life. "

"You're trying to make me cry on purpose, aren't you? That's just mean, Raquel. "

She laughed. "But you know, no matter what, everything will be different from now on. For all of us. "

"You're unemployed, for one. I think we can find you a spot at the diner, if you want. Your French fries can't po

ssibly be worse than Grnlllll's were. "

"I think I might surprise you there. "

I leaned over to rest my head on her shoulder. "Are things going to get easier?"

"Sometimes it takes a little chaos for things to work themselves out. When we make it through the chaos, we can use it to shape the world around us into something better than it was before. "

"I'm good at the chaos part, at least. "

"And you'll be just as good at making things better on the other side. Trust me. "

I sniffled and sat up. "Thanks, Raquel. Speaking of chaos, I better go see if everything is set on Cresseda's end of things. Jack's upstairs, if you and David want to go talk with him about what to do with the Faerie Realms refugees. He's going to need some help. "

We parted with a hug, her scent both familiar and comforting, reminding me that family comes in a lot of different versions. I'd figure out how to take care of those pregnant girls if at all possible, and no matter what, I'd make sure their babies wouldn't slip through the cracks like Vivian and I had.

I missed Vivian. I was so incredibly tired; the desire to sleep was an ache I could feel in my entire body. I couldn't believe I hadn't dropped yet. But if I could sleep, maybe I could find Vivian and make sure she was okay.

I cringed against the cold when I walked outside, but it didn't bother me as much as it used to. Almost like I knew it was there against my skin, but it felt so temporary it didn't matter.

I really needed to dump these extra souls. The breeze played around me and I could feel the water ahead calling out. It gave me the creeps, thinking I was carrying around parts of all these creatures who had tried to hurt me. At least I could use their energy for good, something I doubt any of them had ever bothered trying to do.

At the pond my senses were assaulted by the sheer numbers of paranormals there, each of them with their own pretty, glowing soul light. I couldn't see Cresseda anywhere.