“She touches you,” I whisper, “and she sees. That’s all she needs. She touches you. She touches anyone. She can control what she sees.”
“What is—” He stops and I know he’s made the same connection, the connection I can’t think about with Pixie next to me, the great new kink to all our not planning. Because if someone could force a vision, if someone could grab hold of your future and force it into her brain with a simple brush of her finger across your skin, nothing would be secret.
Nothing would be safe.
Nothing.
I can already feel all my secrets, the secrets from James, the secrets from his father, the secrets from everyone, spilling out in a torrent, gushing past my skin and into someone else, and I wouldn’t be able to stop them. There would be no dam for the flood, no way around it, no place to hide.
Sadie is my death warrant. James’s, too.
“Is Mae with you?” James asks.
“Yes.”
“Get away from her. Now.”
I stand. Pixie looks up, but I jab a finger at her and think STAY as hard as I can, then run the opposite direction. I don’t know what her range is, so I give us a couple of blocks.
“Okay,” I say. “I can think now.”
“My father can’t get Sadie.”
“I agree.”
“No, I mean, my father cannot get her. Absolutely cannot. Under no circumstances. She would destroy everything, Fia. We’d be ruined.”
I walk in tight circles, needing to move, needing to run, needing needing but never getting. “I know. I know.”
“What are we going to do?”
“It’ll be fine. I’ll tell him Sadie is a dead end, a Seer of so little talent she isn’t worth the hassle of taking. I’ll tell him Lerner already ditched her.”
“Mae knows what she can do.”
I kick a mailbox post, one two three four times. “I’ll talk to her. She’ll do what I ask.”
“She isn’t on our side.”
“She’s on my side. She’s my friend.”
“Fia, her job is to monitor you!”
“What? No. My job is to monitor her!”
His voice goes soft, gentle. “She’s doing exactly what my father wanted me to do. He keeps me busy and away from you, while she takes all your free time, goes out with you, listens to you. She got past your defenses. She’s working for him. He never doubted her. He doubted you.”
No. No no no no. I couldn’t be this wrong, not about someone. If I am this wrong about Pixie, what about James? “You did the same thing, you did everything he asked you to. Are you telling me you didn’t really like me? Don’t really love me?”
“Of course I love you!”
“Then why couldn’t she? Why is it so impossible that she’d be loyal to me, really be my friend?” I hang my head, ashamed of the hot tears sliding down my cheeks. She’s my friend. She is. I know she is. I would know if she weren’t. Wouldn’t I?
“That’s not what I’m saying.”
“It is. And you’re right. No one who could hear my thoughts would want to be around me. Not even you.” She must hate me, she has to hate me. She’s one of them.
“Shh. Stop. I know you, Fia, and I love you.” His voice is fierce, and fierce James is my biggest comfort. “All I’m saying is, you have to be sure she won’t tell. Are you sure?”