“Mom—”
“I’ll patrol.”
I sigh. I know she’d be safer inside, but I can’t exactly forbid my mother to do what she does best. “You remember where the medical center is?” I ask Taylor, and she nods.
“She likes being read to,” Rhys says, his voice soft. He doesn’t look up. “Anything with romance in it.”
“I won’t leave her side.” Taylor walks out. What would it feel like to walk in the opposite direction from this fight?
From every fight?
There’s nothing in me that could let that happen. Not my Watcher training, not my Slayer abilities, and certainly not the humming dark extra that is already gathering somewhere deep inside in anticipation of what’s to come.
“Should we talk about the elephant-size prophecy in the room?” Imogen asks. Everyone freezes. They’re all so deliberately not looking at me they might as well be. Imogen quot
es it from memory. “?‘Girls of fire / Protector and Hunter / One to mend the world / And one to tear it asunder.’ So we all get the stakes, right?”
I wish it weren’t true. I wanted that prophecy to be checked off, averted, officially off the books. But maybe Artemis and I are doomed to clash again and again until one of us finally succeeds. Will it be the world breaker, or the healer? And which one am I? Artemis betrayed us, yeah. But I’m the one with actual demon inside me.
Rhys clears his throat and pushes his glasses into place. I flinch, waiting for whatever he has to say. However harsh, I deserve it. But he surprises me. “No world is ending today. We’ve been averting apocalypses for generations; ours won’t be the one to fail. Our top priority is to rescue Leo. Without Leo, all their plans fall apart.”
“Why rescue him?” Jade holds up her hands in anticipation of my anger. “Hear me out. He’s already dying. And he as good as told us all he’s fine with it. So if it’s a choice between letting them use him, or stopping them from bringing Cillian’s hellgod father to earth, which do you think Leo would want us to do? Which would you want us to do? I know what I’d pick.”
He told me it wasn’t my choice when I talked to him. That he’d rather die than hurt anyone again.
I imagine myself a hollow shell, filled with nothing but the dregs of demonic power I never asked for and can’t control. It’s easier than feeling what I’m about to say. “If we can’t get him away, we kill him.”
* * *
With the addition of the two Slayers, plus Cillian, Tsip, Jade, Rhys, Doug, and me, we end up having to take both cars. I don’t like leaving the castle without a vehicle, but it can’t be helped. It’s part of why my mother has no choice but to stay. There’s really not room with all the people and weapons we have to take.
She stops me as we head out. “Forgive her.” She doesn’t have to specify who she’s talking about.
“How can I?” I whisper. It’s not an accusation. It’s a genuine question. How can I forgive Artemis for what she’s done? How can any of us?
“She’s been through so much.”
“We went through all the same things. And I …” And I could easily have killed her, or killed Von Alston, or killed any of the cloakers. Maybe the extra darkness isn’t demonic. Maybe it’s me. Maybe Artemis has the same thing, and she’s stopped fighting it. Maybe she’s still my mirror image, just a few steps farther into a blood-soaked future.
“She’s your sister. Nothing changes that.”
“She changed it.” I shake my head. “I’ll be careful. But I’ll also do what I need to in order to protect the world. Artemis herself told me to make that choice.”
There are tears in my mother’s eyes. “I’ve failed you both.”
I don’t have time to comfort her, and I don’t know how. She already lost her husband to the evil in the world. How much more will she lose? How much more will we all? “This is what we were born to, Mom. We can’t live with one foot in the darkness forever without it catching up to us.”
“No.” Her voice is fierce, stronger. “We don’t live with one foot in the darkness. We live with our shoulders against the door, holding it shut so it doesn’t flood the world. Don’t forget that. Remind your sister, if you can. And be careful.” She hugs me, and I rest my head on her shoulder for a heartbeat. We’ve all lost so much. Too much. And it’s not over yet.
Before I can start doubting my resolve, I turn and leave. She’s wrong, though. Maybe Watchers are the ones holding the door shut. But Slayers have to walk through it in order to work.
I’m in the back of the smaller car with Doug. Cillian drives while Rhys reads certain passages of Cillian’s mother’s research to us. “According to this, he has three forms.” He pauses and looks up at Cillian. “What is your father’s name?”
Cillian shrugs. “Da.”
“What did your mother call him?”
“My love.”