I let her go and sink back onto the couch. A sharp knock raps on the door. “Keane didn’t want him dead,” I say.
The doorknob clicks; our talk is over. At least Dr. Grant is a man and therefore our minds are safe for now.
“Who then?” Fia asks, her voice slipping. She is in so much pain it hurts me to hear her, but I can’t go to her, I can’t help her. “Who wanted him dead?”
I stand and move away from the couch. “I did.”
ANNIE
Three Years Ago
“I SAW THE LAKE! I CAN’T BELIEVE IT. DOES IT ALWAYS look that amazing? I can’t wait to go!”
“But you won’t actually be able to see it,” Fia says, slamming a drawer shut.
“No, but I’ll be able to remember seeing it in my vision! I can pull it all up and play it out in my mind, and I can match what I remember seeing with how it all smells and feels and sounds.” I throw a pillow, jumping on her bed. I feel like I could fly. I feel like I am flying. I saw something because I thought about it hard enough, and it wasn’t horrible or confusing. I still don’t have many visions, and can’t usually figure out what they are anyway—people I don’t know, places I can’t recognize. None as bad as the one with my parents but none particularly awesome.
But this one! It was the beach, a beautiful narrow stretch of pale sand on the shore of the lake, a lake so wide—melting off into the horizon—it might as well be the ocean. My classmates—I saw some of them, too, but the only one I recognized was Eden because of her wild curly hair that I play with when we’re hanging out. And Clarice! I saw Clarice; I knew it was her because I heard her voice and I’d know her voice anywhere. Her hair is long and her eyes are blue, the same color as the sky. I had forgotten to miss blue. Blue!
I flop down onto my back, tracing my stomach happily. “I didn’t tell you the best part.”
“Oh?” Another drawer slams. “I can’t find my bra,” she mutters.
“The best part is, I saw you.”
“So? I’m not that great to look at.”
“Don’t be stupid! This is the first time I’ve seen you since you were a toddler! Your hair is so shiny, and your face. Oh, Fia, you’re beautiful. You’re so, so beautiful. I knew who you were the second I saw you.” Tears trace from the corner of each of my eyes. I’m on Fia’s bed, and it smells like her, sweet vanilla, and now I know what look goes with that smell.
She was there, on the beach ahead of whatever vantage point the vision gave me, and she looked back for a brief second before kicking a ball wildly and chasing after it through a group of adults.
She didn’t look happy. I wonder if she always looks that way and I don’t know. Or maybe I don’t remember what happy looks like. But even with her brows knit together and her mouth pulled tight, she was so beautiful. And when she ran, she was every description of graceful I have ever read.
“You’re beautiful,” she says with a sigh. “And I’m glad you saw something happy. Really. That’s amazing. I hope you keep seeing happy things. It makes everything worth it.”
“Maybe next time they take us on a Broadway trip I can see the show beforehand and ruin the whole thing for you.”
Fia lets out a dry laugh. “You do that. I hate musicals anyway.”
Our door flies open. “Where were you in class today, Fia?” Eden says, and then they both swear loudly and I feel a blanket get ripped out from underneath me.
“KNOCK FIRST!” Fia screams. I’ve never heard her so angry.
I wave a hand lazily in the air. “Relax! Eden doesn’t have to knock. Oh, wait—are you naked? Did she see you naked?” I giggle, still giddy with happiness, still seeing the beach. I know what Eden looks like. I want to touch her hair again; it was so wild in my vision. Now when she comes over, I don’t have to imagine what I think she looks like. I know! “Does Fia have big boobs? She won’t tell me, and apparently it’s not okay to feel them and see for myself.” No one laughs. “Sheesh, joking.”
“What happened to you?” Eden says. She sounds scared.
Fia stomps to the door. “Shut up. Get out of
our room.”
“What’s wrong?” I sit up.
“Her body…” Eden says.
“I SAID SHUT UP.”
“No, tell me what’s wrong. Eden, what can’t I see? What’s wrong?”