“Do you remember how old she is? She’s a kid, James. A seriously screwed up kid.”
His voice is thicker. Maybe with guilt. I don’t know. I’ve never been able to get much other than false flirting and anger from his voice. “Yes.”
“Do you remember how she was when you first came back here?”
“Yes, yes, yes! Can you find her or not?”
“She didn’t kill Adam Denting.”
“She—what?”
“She didn’t kill him. She said she got there and she couldn’t. That’s why she’s so off, so crazy. Not because she killed him. Because she thinks she killed me again by not doing what your father wants her to.”
There’s a long pause. “Why did my father take the hit out? Maybe I can fix it.”
“I told him Adam would destroy him.”
“He’s going to—wait. You told my father that. Was it true?”
“No.”
He swears, and I flinch and cover my head as my lamp smashes against the wall. “You tricked him into sending Fia out on a hit? What is wrong with you? Do you know how long I’ve worked to get her this stable, and you send her out to kill someone? Why? What on earth could possibly justify risking your sister? I should be asking you if you care about her.”
“I didn’t think they’d send her!” I shout. “Why would they send her? Why would they risk her like that?”
“What did you think would happen when you told my father that someone was going to destroy him? Of course he’d risk her. You’re really something, Annie. All these years Fia thought she was a killer. But she’s only ever fought to protect you. And here you are, ordering hits.”
“It wasn’t like that,” I whisper. “It was bigger than us. It is bigger than us. I wasn’t doing it for me. Or even for Fia. I was doing it so Fia wouldn’t happen to a thousand other girls.”
“Your sister sacrificed everything for you. Glad to know you’re looking out for a thousand strangers instead of her. Well done.”
I swallow hard. “I saw Adam again. I don’t know where he was. But I know who he was with. Does the name Lerner mean anything to you?”
He laughs. It’s harsh and low and it sounds like Fia’s and I ache and shatter and break on the inside. He’s right. I’ve failed her in so many ways, too many ways to ever atone for.
I hear the couch creak as he stands. “Well, that’s just brilliant. Lerner has Fia. Do you want to tell my father, or should I?”
“You can’t tell him about Adam. He’ll kill me.”
“I don’t really care one way or the other what happens to you. But you dying would destroy Fia, so I’ll do whatever I can to cover up your mess. Because I care about your sister.”
I hang my head and cry. He leaves without a word.
I see Fia that night. I don’t know if it’s a dream or a vision, but she’s alone, and she’s scared, and she’s crying.
But she isn’t scared for herself.
She’s scared that something will happen to me because she got kidnapped.
In the morning when I wake up again on the couch I immediately know I am not alone. I can smell tea, my favorite tea, and the tiny clink of a spoon stirring.
“Good morning, Annabelle.”
Mr. Keane. Here. In my room. If I were going to die, would I have seen it? I can’t die. I have to save Fia.
“James informed me of the unfortunate development with your sister. I’m very disappointed.”
“Do you know where she is? Can you find her?” I sit up. I want to smooth my hair, to pull the blanket over myself so he can’t see my bare arms, but I resist.