erella said.
The stepmother took off wedding ring after wedding ring, dropping them onto the ground. “What you need,” she said as the last ring plinked metallically to the pile, “is to figure out how to deal with your own problems.”
“Umm, this is a little more serious than help with homework,” Goldilocks said.
“It’s all the same principle. You have brains. You have skills.” She paused, frowning at Jack. “Well, you have something. Use it.”
“But what are you going to do?” Jack asked.
The stepmother pulled out all she had left in her bag. A dish and a spoon. Maybe she could use them to—
The dish grabbed the spoon and ran away. Even dishes have enough sense to leave when caught between a vampire army and a zombie horde.
“Well, I’m going to go sleep.” Dusting off her skirts, the stepmother climbed the nearest tree. She had barely settled onto a nice, comfortable branch when she heard cooing. She peered over to see a cradle, complete with baby.
“Oh, great. I don’t suppose you have a mother, do you?”
The baby clapped its hands and giggled.
“Do you like fire?”
The baby shook its head.
“Are you secretly undead?”
The baby laughed, blowing bubbles.
“Honestly, this kingdom.” The stepmother patted the baby’s stomach until it fell asleep. Then, closing her eyes, she did, too.
Down on the ground, Cinderella, Prince Charring, Goldilocks, and Jack stared at each other. “Goldilocks can fight,” Jack said.
“Not that many zombies at once. And I’ve never fought vampires.”
Cinderella looked at her hands helplessly. They were filled with matches. “What do the rest of us have to offer?”
“I had a cow,” Jack said sadly.
“What good would a cow do us?” Goldilocks asked.
“We’ll never know, because I traded her for some magic beans.”
Prince Charring snapped his fingers. “Magic beans! Yes! We’ll use those!”
Jack shook his head. “I don’t have them anymore. I accidentally planted them and they grew into a huge stalk.”
“Oh.” Cinderella pulled out a lighter, flicking it on and off, on and off. It wasn’t comforting her much right now. “Well, what do we know about zombies and vampires?”
“They don’t like sunlight,” Goldilocks said. “But we’ve got too many hours left in the night.”
“Hmm.” The prince rubbed two sticks together, lighting a small pile of hay on fire. “If only there was something else that both vampires and zombies feared. Something we could use. Something we were good at.”
Jack nodded, morose. Morose is like sad, when you have even more sad, but you have to keep going regardless.
“It wouldn’t matter anyway,” Jack said. “The whole kingdom is blocked in by giant plants. So they’re trapped in here, and we are, too.”
Goldilocks paced. “If only there was somewhere else we could send them, and some way to scare them into going there!”
Jack sat on the ground, defeated. “I guess we’re all going to be eaten.”