“Ugh, me too.”
Then he reached a finger out to touch my cheek. “Ouch.”
I rolled my eyes. At myself, of course, because of the flutter rolling around in my stomach from his finger on my skin was enough rock me like an earthquake. “Apparently, I fell out of the car.”
“I tried to stop. You opened the door before I pulled all the way over.”
“I heard. I don’t really remember much.”
A tiny smile tugged at his lips.
“For what it’s worth, I’m kind of happy you puked all over my feet.”
I sat up and stared at him. “Umm…what?”
He ran a hand through his hair and grimaced. “Before I found you back by the bathroom with Spencer, Jennifer had been trying to get me to give her a ride home. You scared her off.”
“Vomit shoes or Jennifer Stevens.” I made a motion between my hands like I was weighing the options. “Vomit shoes every time.”
“No other option, really,” he laughed and opened his book as Mr. Baker started class. And like that, Anderson and I were back on solid(ish) ground. I wanted to thank him for more than just the apology. For defending me with Spencer. For going back and beating him up, but I didn’t want to blow the small amount of progress we’d made. Who knew puking on the guy you liked could bring you closer? I suspected it would only work with one guy. A freak like Anderson Thompson.
*
After my note of apology and Anderson’s acceptance, things were generally less tense. I couldn’t deny, though, that there was a block of sorts between us, and as time passed I realized exactly what was causing the awkwardness.
The Allendale Four. Or three.
Post-vomitous-party, my life changed. My social life, that is. Jackson, Oliver, and Hayden stuck close to me at school, meeting me at my car, hovering at my locker, sitting next to me at lunch. It was like we were dating...but not. Not that I had a lot of experience, but our relationship seemed to be crossing over into some kind of unknown territory. Can one girl date three guys? A month ago, I would have said no. But now? Things were getting interesting, even if one of the members of the circle had an attitude problem.
The rest of the school watched us closely but kept their mouths shut. Everyone knew what happened to Spencer at the party. They saw his busted lip and the way he kept his eyes diverted anytime any of us were around. But that didn’t stop the rumors from flying or the anonymous Fakestagram page from posting photos of me non-stop. I pretended like I didn’t care about the harassment but the boys knew. They saw the dark rings under my eyes and more than once Oliver checked my arms for new cuts. It made me feel stupid. And incredibly, overwhelmingly, loved.
Anxiety could be so conflicting and complicated.
“Can I ask you two something?” Oliver and Jackson are sitting with me one day at lunch. We were sitting in a tight cluster, alone for a minute. Hayden was in study hall and Anderson was buying a Coke out of the machine across the cafeteria. He’d slung his leather jacket on the chair across from us, holding his spot. Jackson had piles of food in front of him and I watched with fascination as he crammed four Oreos in his mouth at once.
“Sure?” He mumbled around all the chocolate.
Oliver nodded through a bite of sandwich.
“This,” I said, gesturing between us. “What exactly does this mean to you? I’ve kissed you both and Hayden. You all seem okay with it, well most of you, at least.” I glanced over my shoulder at Anderson, who was fighting with the machine. “Swallow before you answer, please.”
Jackson chewed for a minute, swallowed, and took a giant gulp of his drink. His Adam’s apple bobbed in response. I couldn’t decide if I should be disturbed or turned on by his behavior. His eyes darted quickly to Oliver’s but his following question was to me, “Do you really not know?”
“No.” I shook my head. “I really don’t. Is this something you’ve done before?”
“You know we don’t let people into the group, Heaven. You’re the first.”
I scoffed. “Don’t pretend like I’m your first. You know your first…”
Jackson reached over and takes my hand under the table. “You’re the first where it matters, babe.”
“But the sharing. Is it weird?”
“We’ve always shared everything, which is why we’ve never dated much. Girls got in the way of our friendship, but you…you’re the perfect fit,” Oliver explains.
My eyes flicked to Anderson, who was still in some sort of struggle with the soda machine. He was jabbing the buttons to no avail, running one hand through his hair, making it more and more feral with agitation. He was so pretty. “But what about…”
“He’ll come around. I told you that.”