There were so many unknowns. Would they wait for me? Or is this the end of the Allendale Five?
“One minute!” my mom shouted from the hallway. The weight of it all fell on my shoulders and it took everything I had not to burst into tears.
“I have to go,” I told them.
“We’ll figure this out,” Oliver said. Hayden nodded next to him.
I smiled weakly, knowing it was impossible. “I’ll see you at school, okay?”
“Love you, babe,” Jackson said. The other three said it too. My heart cracked, deeper and deeper.
“I love you, too,” I said, blowing them a kiss as footsteps sounded in the hall. I disconnected and threw my phone at the door, shattering the screen.
Pulling the pillow over my head, I cried. I cried for the loss of my boys. The loss of the life I’d recently built and for my freedom.
I cried because there was nothing else left to do.
Chapter 21
Things went from bad to worse on Monday. First, my mom drove me to school. Then, we went straight to the counselor’s office.
Stepping through the front doors, there was no doubt to my classmates this was a “walk of shame,” even though I was dressed in jeans and a baggy sweatshirt and not my more-recent sexy clothing. Every eye in the school followed me through the doors of the office.
For once, I didn’t care. I didn’t care about anything.
That was the irony in all this, my mother wanted me more involved. More engaged, and to do that she took everything I loved away from me. There was nothing left but for me to disconnect, so when the counselor and my mother started discussing my schedule and removing me from classes with any “unhealthy distractions,” I didn’t fight.
“Heaven, you’ll move to sixth period Chemistry,” Ms. Hemmingway pushed my new schedule across the table. “And Mrs. Rockingham, the librarian, said you can eat lunch in there. Less stress.”
I couldn’t be trusted to even eat lunch unsupervised.
“I’ve filed a report with the police,” my mother announced. “And the school district is aware of the bullying. The Fakestagram has been removed but it’s likely photos are still being passed around and a new account will be made.” Mom’s voice grew hard. “Whoever is behind the account goes to this school. I hope you’re doing what you can to resolve it.”
“I just wish Heaven had come to us sooner. We could have done something earlier.” She looked at me with such sympathy. “I’ve made your teachers aware of the students that have been bothering you the most. They won’t come near you.”
“Who are you talking about.”
“Heaven, you know who. The boys.”
I couldn’t form the words to tell her that I didn’t want or need them kept from me. It was the opposite. Keeping them away from me wouldn’t make anything better, it would leave me vulnerable to whoever was bullying me and make it worse.
The bell rang and I spoke while staring at my hands. “Can I go to class now?”
“Yes, sweetie,” my mom says, reaching to squeeze my hand. I moved aside before she could touch me and left the room for the start of my new, lonely, miserable life.
*
Ignore them.
Ignore them.
Ignore them.
That was what I told myself as I walked down the hall and sat through classes. It hurt treating them like this. None of this was their fault. They opened their circle to me. Let me in—added me as Number Five, and look what happened.
Twice that first morning I caught sight of one of the Allendale Four. Oliver near his locker after second period and Hayden headed to the art room before lunch. Both looked as shitty as I felt, with deep circles under their eyes. I had no doubt they were losing sleep over me—for now. But soon, they’d move on. No one wanted to wait for a damaged, imprisoned girl.
Oliver made a move toward me but I shook my head. He stared at me like he’d been slapped.