Holding On To Heaven (Allendale Four 2)

Jackson appeared at the top of the steps, holding two cups. “Dude, put Heaven down.” He did so reluctantly and Jackson gave me the drink. It was a fruity spiked punch. Anderson sighed. Drunk Heaven was trouble. We all knew it. Anderson’s shoes knew it. The side of his car knew it. I held the cup in my hand.

“I promise I will not puke on you, okay?”

He shook his head. “God, don’t remind me.”

Jackson grabbed Anderson by the arm and winked. “Come on, Oliver’s playing Amber in Jenga. Let’s go watch her kick his ass.”

Hayden stood over me, tall and massive.

“So this is your new house?” I asked, trying to see it past the people and garbage all over the yard.

“Yep,” he shoved his hands in his jean pockets. “You want the grand tour?”

Our eyes connected, because yeah, I wanted the tour, and to see his room and to be alone with him. That’s why I came. No one would miss us. Not in a crowd this size.

With his hands still in his pockets, Hayden led the way.

The last time I went into a bedroom with a guy at a party, my whole life flipped upside down. Today that wasn’t the case, because I didn’t know anyone here, no one in college cared if I went off with a hot guy. It didn’t hurt that I had a few well-placed friends in the crowd that had my back.

“I’ve missed you,” he said the instant the door shut. The music and voices from outside sounded muffled through the door. One side of the room was a wreck—his roommate’s—while his bed was wrinkled but made.

“I miss you too. Soccer sucks.” I pushed him against the wall, craving the feel of his body.

“Hey, don’t blame soccer.”

I looked up and smiled. He loved his sport, but from the glint in his eye and the hard bulge in his pants, not as much as he loved me.

If anyone would go along with my plan to escalate our relationship it would be Hayden, I was sure. I pushed up on my toes and kissed him hard, tasting the beer on his tongue. His hands gripped my waist, fingers pressing against my skin. His breathing grew rapid, his movements rough. I thumbed the button on his pants and his breath caught. His fingers wove into my hair and I kissed him again and again and again. He swung me around, carrying me to the small bed and throwing me down, eliciting a squeal. God, I wanted him so bad.

Hayden was huge; tall and broad. He held his upper body up as his hips ground into me. Butterflies filled my belly and his lips were so desperately hungry. I wanted him so bad and there was zero doubt he felt the same.

I hooked my thumbs in my waistband and his eyes glazed over for a brief second and I thought I had him, really had him, but instead he groaned and turned away.

“What?” I said, over my pounding heart. He ran his hand over his face. I stood up and he took a step back.

“We should go back downstairs.”

“You’re kidding.” He didn’t answer. “No really, you’re kidding, right?”

“I should go back downstairs.” He didn’t look me in the eye. Couldn’t.

“What’s going on here?” I looked down at my outfit—glanced in the mirror over the dresser. “Is it me? Is there something wrong.”

He reached for me, fingers trembling and pressed his forehead to mine. “No, absolutely-fucking not. It’s not you. But this is not happening here.”

“Why not? I’m ready. You’re ready.” I pushed against his crotch. He was definitely ready.

He gave me a hard look; one filled with want and something else—a hesitation. I searched for the reason for all this. The small issue that’d been building between us all for some time. Even with Anderson.

He swallowed hard, rebuttoning his pants and shifting to a more comfortable position.

“Look, Heaven,” he grimaced, “the guys and I made a deal. No one treats you like a piece of ass. No matter how tempting you are.”

I stared blankly at him. “You did what?”

“We love and respect you.” He touched my shoulder but I brushed his hand off. “You’ve been through so much and none of us wanted to hurt you again—pressure you in a way you weren’t comfortable with. You’re fragile, Heaven, and none of us want to risk that.”

“Shut up, Hayden. You’re making it worse.”