Anita rolls her eyes. “Stop looking so shocked. You know I’m blunt.”
“I know it’s none of your business.”
Again, she just looks annoyed. “It’s not, but when you’re ready to share the dirty details, I’m here for you.”
Honestly, I’d like to talk about it. How I had sex with all the guys last summer, except Whit, but not since. Not because we didn’t want to, but…time was limited. It felt rushed. Awkward to not see each other often and then just to get naked. We didn’t have enough time to…well, go all the way. We’d gone some of the way. Just not all the way. It’s one of the reasons that being back terrifies me. I don’t fully know their expectations. What they want. Okay fine, I have a pretty good idea of what they want, but so far, no one has pressured me. At the same time, it’s not like I have to be pressured. I want them. It’s just been more of a situation of time and opportunity.
“Well, I know Justin’s been about to crawl out of his skin for you to get back. He’s driving Bobby and Richard crazy. And Pete was over here this morning day making sure the trailer was all set up.”
Ah, that explained the flower.
I’d promised myself I’d get settled and take a nap before seeing them, but Anita’s making it a challenge.
“I heard there’s a bonfire tonight?”
“Yep,” she says. “On the beach in front of Ivy’s place.”
“I’ll be there.”
She checks the time and sighs. “Okay, I better go check on Mom and grab Sibley. She’s pulling extra Grandma duties lately.”
We hug in the tight space. “Thanks for coming to see me.”
“I’m so glad you’re back. We’re going to have so much fun this summer.”
I feel the bubble of anticipation, because I’ve been waiting for this since last August—ready to be back home, back with my family, and back with my boys.
2
Whit
I’ve known the outcome of the first twenty-one years of my life since I was six years old. Graduate high school, head to the Citadel, join the Army.
Somewhere along the way, my love for surfing mixed in with the others, as well as a head-strong attitude. My father didn’t approve of either of those. Not going to the military academy wasn’t an option. Ever. He went. My uncles went. My grandfather and great-uncles. It’s a family tradition and there’s no fucking way I’m is going to get away with breaking it.
The first time I realized I didn’t want that future was my senior year in high school. The tours started and the applications. Suddenly, the sea took on a stronger lure. My father noticed my hesitation. I told him about my uncertainty. He told me to get my fucking shit together. I did what I always did—escaped to the water.
“The Academy is close to the ocean,” Justin had reminded me at the time. “You can still surf.”
“Not with the schedule we’re required to keep.”
“You’ll find time.”
I gave him a hard glare. “It’s not the same. And what do you know about it. Richard went to the Citadel and he’s happy you’re going to Clemson.”
Justin had laughed. “He’s just glad I graduated high school and didn’t follow my father’s path to prison.”
I didn’t argue. Justin fought for his success. Had I?
No, not really. Like a good little soldier, I did as I was destined. I accomplished my first year, hating every moment, one eye cast south to the water. The brine-scented air a cruel reminder of what I was missing. The ocean wasn’t the only thing I craved. I missed Summer. Badly. In a way I never understood before. There’d been girls, short diversions because of our pact—the agreement not to get tied to a girl—to Ocean Beach, but not one of them compared to what I felt about Summer. When she came down to the spring formal and I saw her dressed up and looking like a goddess, I could barely function. She beamed at my uniform, impressed by the pageantry. Proud of me.
I resolved then to be the best for her. Be the gentleman she deserved. The cadet with a future, not a beach bum. That was why we agreed to see her. She was different. Not from here, and she wouldn’t keep us tied to this place with babies and unfulfilled dreams.
This floats through my mind as I kiss Summer Barnes in the beach cottage kitchen. Feeling her in my arms is like coming up for air for the first time in months. I want to peel her bikini off and lick every inch of her skin, but I hold back. This girl doesn’t deserve another horny guy rubbing up on her. That’s not the relationship I want with her. She deserves time. Respect. She is what my lifetime of expectation has led up to. I understand that now.
I hate stopping, but I know the others are waiting, and she’s not just mine.
3