The Road To Heaven (Allendale Four 3)

“This is a bad idea.”

“Heaven, how long has it actually been since you’ve gone on a date?” Lea asked as we walked down the street. We were in the trendy part of town—yes, Allendale had a trendy part of town now—something that had changed while I was away at school.

Allendale had always been a small but thriving city. We had a university and hospital and those both provided jobs for many people in the town. I went away for college and then for art school. While I was gone, Hollywood took notice of the quaint downtown area, the beach not too far away, and all the things they needed for TV shows and movies. They set up shop, which was perfect timing for my specialty in makeup/FX design. Creature Feature picked Allendale for the shooting location of the long-term series and the union has rules about hiring locals. I was literally in the right place at the right time with the right skills.

With the industry bustling, it was easier for me to start over than I’d thought. The historic part of town became trendy. I lived in an old high school that was converted to loft apartments. I avoided the places that hurt the most, the neighborhood where I grew up, the community where my father’s now-defunct church stood abandoned and empty. His money schemes eventually ran him out of town and left the church in bankruptcy. My mother still worked at the police station, but even so, I didn’t see her often. Years of therapy made me realize our relationship was better with a little distance.

I had goals of something bigger and better—New York or Hollywood--but something about Allendale still felt right to me. I was a small-town girl—woman—at heart.

“Heaven?”

I glanced at Lea. She looked at me expectantly with bright brown eyes. She was Korean and a whiz at makeup and FX, but still in school part-time. We’d become close when we both landed our dream jobs and scrambled to learn the ropes.

“What?”

“I asked how long it had been since you’d gone on a date?”

“Not long enough to know that I’m not a fan of dating, especially blind dates.”

“Look, we’re in the same boat. Double blind dates. Set up by RJ, who I’m hoping knows some attractive guys. Don’t they have a club or something?”

“The hot guy club?” I’d laugh but I’d known a club like that…well, not really a club, but a group of ridiculously hot guys that all hung out together. But I also knew Lea had a point. Did you say no to a

famous actor agreeing to set you up on a date with some friends? No. You didn’t. Sure, it would probably end up a total disaster but would make for a good story and laugh at some point.

Plus, even I couldn’t bear another night of reality TV at home alone. Seriously, I needed to do something other than work and binge Netflix all night.

We arrived at the sushi bar—one of the kinds where you ordered at the bar via computer and a conveyer belt carried out the food. It was new and trendy and I expected it to last about three months before something newer and trendier took its place. That was half the reason I agreed to come tonight. I want to see my shrimp tempura slide across the counter on tiny plates.

It was as much of a bar as a restaurant and the bouncer waved us in. RJ told Lea we’d meet the guys here, probably afraid I’d bail if they showed up at my loft. I scanned the room but I saw nothing but a bunch of young people looking like they were trying too hard to have fun. Faking a good time had never been easy for me—and when it was, it only got me in hot water.

“What do we know about these guys?” I asked, sliding into a bar stool.

“They’re guys,” was her only reply. When I make a face, begging for more,, she rolls her eyes. “If I knew anything it wouldn’t matter. Anything I say will only get some kind of snarky reply.”

“That’s not true.” I ordered a Japanese beer from the bartender. “Why would you say that?”

“Because you have a particular type—one I haven’t figured out yet. It seems to be a vague mix of some kind of unattainable, imaginary guy that doesn’t live up to your exes.”

I sighed, thinking about the Allendale Four. “If you knew them, you’d understand why they’re hard to surpass.”

“I’d love to get to know them, but since you cut them out of your life it’s not happening.” She took a drink from the shot glass the waiter pushed toward her, and grimaced. “You don’t use social media for anything other than work, so I can’t stalk them there. You refuse to talk about them—all I know is that you had this epic romance, until you didn’t.”

“Epic may be an exaggeration.”

Leigh gives me a hard look. “They were a big part of your life. It has to be weird not having them involved anymore.”

“First of all, I didn’t cut them out of my life. We, as a group, made a decision. And that decision was that everyone should be free to pursue their dreams. We all had different ones and continuing our relationship was only going to hinder that.”

I took a long swallow of my beer, trying not to think of the day Anderson got his invite to train year-round with the US National team, and earned his first spot in the Olympic games. I didn’t want to remember the mixed feelings when Hayden was recruited to play professionally across the country—only available a few weeks of the year. I refused to remember how Oliver and Jackson sat down with me, tears in their eyes, and told me it didn’t feel right to go on. That there was a fracture in the group. I felt it. They felt it. We were incomplete and that led us to find different homes, different jobs, and different lives.

So, we cut ties. Completely, and other than seeing a few things in the news occasionally about Hayden or Anderson, I’d walked away completely.

“I get why you ended the relationship,” she said, “but there is no way they wanted you to go on forever alone, creating monster faces and living a nun’s life.”

I fought back a grimace. I sure as hell hoped they were living a monk’s life, even though I knew it was ridiculous. The idea of them with anyone else…

I took another gulp from my drink.