“Fuck it,” I muttered and typed in my answer.
See you then.
I had three days to panic, reconsider, and back out. I did the first two a dozen times, but I didn’t back out, and that scared me more than anything else.
By the time the game rolled around I was in a state of denial, checking and rechecking that message. What if he sent it by accident? What if he was just being nice? What if it was a test and I was supposed to say no but said yes and in the end, I was the one that led us down the path to ruin.
Good god.
I picked up the phone and pressed the name at the top of the list.
“Hey babe,” she said, picking up on the first ring. “What’s going on?”
“I’m in trouble, Amber. Super big trouble.”
“What did you do?” Worr
y entered her voice. “Are you okay?”
“Oh,” I said, realizing she misunderstood my statement. Rightfully so. I sat on my bed and picked at a loose thread. “I’m fine, but I just…I said I’d meet Jackson and Oliver at a bar to watch Hayden’s game.”
There was a beat. A long one, and then, “You did what?”
“You heard me.”
She sighed and I could see her sitting in her apartment in New York looking over the busy street below. Amber and Ginger bolted after college for the big-big city. “It was bound to happen at some point, right?”
“I guess. I should have said no.”
“Why would you say no? I mean, it’s a soccer game and your friend is playing. It’s not an orgy.” I coughed and she apologized. “Kidding. Just kidding. I know you guys never had orgies, although for the life of me I’m not sure why.”
She had a point. If ever there was a slippery slope…
“These guys were never just my friends, Amber, you know that and that’s what makes it so hard. How do I just be friends with them? I don’t even know how to be an adult with them. Or just hang out at a bar eating nachos and drinking beer.”
“You hate beer.”
“See? I don’t even drink beer like a normal person.”
Amber grew quiet for a moment and I knew she was thinking. Just when I’m about to start hyper-ventilating she said, “You’ve faked it before. You can fake it now. For one night.” I started to argue. “Heaven, you faked liking someone way more than once in your life. Turn that shit around and just fake be a normal girl with normal guy friends for one night. Hang with the guys like they’re…just guys.”
“What if I can’t?” Again, she was quiet. It was different though. “Amber?”
“This isn’t the way I wanted to tell you but, I have some news.”
I perked up. “What kind of news?”
“Ginger and I are getting married.”
“What? Oh my god! What?”
“Heaven!” her voice jolted me back down. “We want you at the wedding and we want the guys there, too. You’ve all been a big part of our lives and maybe this is the opportunity you need to get this together.”
“You’re getting married?”
“Yes!” I heard her smile through the phone. “Will you be my maid-of-honor?”
“Yes! Of course!”