“What? Leaving town? For where? For how long.”
I glanced at my computer screen. Hayden’s story was all over the sports pages; Atlanta United’s star goalie was critically injured in the game the night before. He was stable but had serious injuries the team had not released to the press. The only thing I knew was that he was hurt and I needed to see him.
“Someone I know is in the hospital and I’ve got to go…I just have to go. And I don’t know when I’ll be back. Hopefully in a few days.” God willing.
I went to the bathroom and collected my toiletries. Hairbrush, makeup bag, and the two pill bottles sitting on the counter. One of those pills kept me from spiraling into depression. The other kept my moods from shifting like a boomerang.
“Holy shit, Heaven, are you okay? Do you need someone with you?”
“No,” I replied at the same time as a bang at the door. I checked my watch. Did Uber drivers walk to the door? “I’m okay. If you can cover for me for a few days, that would be great. I’ll get in touch with Derek and let him know, okay?”
I’d already texted our boss, Derek, but it was early and he probably hadn’t seen it yet. Whatever. The person at the door banged again.
“I’m coming!” I shouted and then said, “Gotta go, but I’ll be in touch, okay?”
“Definitely call me.”
“I will,” I said, grabbing all my things. “And sorry this is such short notice…”
“No, honey, it’s fine. Go do what you need to. We’ll be here when you get back.”
I flung open the door, expecting the Uber driver, but I stopped short. Jackson stood in the doorway. He frowned at the bags. “Where are you going?”
“Atlanta. Where do you think I’m going?”
“Heaven,” he said, following me down the hall. “Listen, Oliver talked to Sabine this morning.” I cut my eyes at him. Really? Sabine? He ignored the glare. “They’re not talking because of the press, but she sounded hopeful. He’s awake. Probably had another concussion and maybe some internal injuries.”
“That’s pretty vague, Jax.”
“I know, but you can’t just race out there.”
I stopped at the front door and faced him. “Yes I can. I have to.”
“Why?”
“Because he came for me every time I needed him. Just like you did. And Oliver. And Anderson. Every hospital trip. Every counseling session. Every breakdown. You guys were there and I’m going to be there for him.”
Understanding spread across his features, his blue eyes flashing at the memories. “Things are different now.”
I shook my head. “Not at times like this, they aren’t.”
“He has other people in his life. People that are there for this sort of thing.”
Ouch.
I pushed him aside but he grabbed my arm, pulling me uncomfortably close. I smelled his familiar scent, the tang of his shaving cream. His eyes bore into mine. “Promise me one thing.”
“What?”
“That if you go out there and things don’t go as planned, you can’t run away again.” His hand was warm around my wrist. “We just got you back.”
I nodded, unable to speak, and the words that floated to my mind weren’t the right ones to speak anyway. It wasn’t until I was in the car on the way to the airport that I allowed myself to think on that moment and what he meant.
Did Hayden really not want to see me?
And who was he to say I ran away? That wasn’t how it happened. But is that how they think of me?
I hadn’t been at the hospital since I was a patient myself. I don’t even remember coming in the two times I was admitted. Once I’d had a panic attack at the library and Jackson brought me in. The other—I shook the memory from my head. I didn’t want to think about it.