For his emerald green eyes.
For his overwhelming presence.
I only glimpsed his face for a moment before he quickly turned away, placing his broad back between us. It wasn’t before I saw ringed, dark shadows under his eyes. A million memories flashed through my mind. Anderson at eighteen, nervous the first time we’d made love. Later, older, lithe and sweaty as he hovered over my body. Then something darker; Anderson wet and cold, dragging me out of the water. Anderson the last time I saw him, jaw clenched tight. Tears threatening to spill, getting in a cab for the airport.
No, I wasn’t ready for the wound in my heart to split back open, ripping out the sloppy stitches that barely held.
Now he stood before me in jeans and a hoodie, looking like he hadn’t slept in days. His jaw was covered in heavy scruff, something I’d never seen before.
“Thank you,” I forced out, following him down the hall.
His eyes were cast forward—as if he couldn’t bear to look at me. Couldn’t. Wouldn’t. One of the two.
“Like I said, you’re family. Hayden added you to the list.”
I stopped. “When? Now?”
“No, when he signed with the team. He filled out medical forms, including next-of-kin.” He placed his hand on the wooden door and glanced at me. God, it was like looking into the sun. “You made the cut.”
The news startled me, but not enough to keep me from asking, “And Sabine?”
He shook his head. “No, but that guy Bryant is, and he talked the nurse into allowing her in as a representative of the team and as his therapist. I don’t think either of them are happy we’re here.”
Was he happy I was here? I wanted to ask. I tried my hardest not to show any emotion, just in case he dared look at me for more than a second. But he didn’t.
Before he could open the door, I moved to the gap between him and the door. “Tell me what’s going on with Hayden. How is he?”
His eyes flicked to mine. Guarded. “He suffered a bad concussion—his second in three months. He has two broken ribs and a twisted ankle. They won’t know how bad until they do more tests and X-rays.”
I swallow. “Is he awake?”
“Yes. But sedated. The nurse just gave him a shot.” A smile flitted over his lips. “He’s high as a kite.”
I nodded and moved so he could open the door. Anderson paused and I saw the tic in his jaw. I knew that tic. “What?”
“Jackson told me you were on the way.”
“Ah, he prepared you.” Hurricane Heaven was about to crash land.
“He told me why you felt obligated to come.” His fist clenched on the doorframe. “You know you don’t owe any of us anything, right?”
“Hayden’s hurt. I’m not stepping aside if he needs help.”
He unfurled his fingers and ran them through his hair. Something I’d seen him do a million times over. “Don’t walk in that door if you’re going to vanish again.”
“Excuse me?”
“You heard me. If you go in there, you’re opening old wounds and yeah, I think he’ll want to see you, but there’s enough broken in him right now that the last fucking thing he needs is to mend a broken heart.”
I looked into Anderson’s eyes. Green and flaring with pain. Pain I didn’t cause. It was the second time the accusation had flung my way in the last day and anger boiled past my grief. In a low voice I said, “Don’t you dare lecture me on broken hearts, Anderson Thompson. I’m not the one that got on that plane and flew across the country without another look back. Or took a job traveling around the globe playing a game. I didn’t start a business and build an empire with my buddies. I didn’t make the rules about our relationship and I certainly didn’t get to keep my best friends once it fell apart.”
Anderson held his breath as I continued.
“You’re the one that said it; we’re family. And if there’s one thing I know it’s that family is messy as hell, but I also know that we’re stuck with one another. We have to forgive one another and we have to fight for one another when shit hits the fan.”
He swallowed, his Adam’s apple bobbed beneath the scruff of his unshaved face. Without another word he opened the door and I braced myself for what was on the other side.
To his credit, the minute we walked into the hospital room, Anderson’s demeanor changed. Whatever anger and hostility he had for me vanished and he focused completely on his friend. Thank god, because I was a blubbering mess.