I smiled. “She loves sending cards. It’s one of her things. I think a holdover from being a preacher’s wife.”
“Have you heard anything from your dad?”
I shook my head. “No. Thank goodness. He’s probably in jail—although if he was, we’d probably hear more from him. God knows what he’s up to or who he’s ripping off right now.”
I drove down the long road, past the picnic tables toward the small pond where a mom walked with her small children by the edge, feeding the ducks. Hayden’s focused on me now. I felt his eyes studying me. His hand reached out and tugged at my sleeve, revealing my forearms and the pale, smooth skin beneath.
I jerked my arm away and said, “Looking for something?”
“Just checking.” He didn’t look the least bit ashamed. Hayden rarely did.
“For cuts? Scars?”
“Yeah. Is that wrong?”
I parked the car and got out, needing some fresh air myself. Hayden struggled with his crutches and I helped him stand and stabilize. Once we were situated on a bench facing the pond, I turned to him and said, “You could’ve asked if you were worried.”
“You could keep in touch—let me know how you’re doing.”
I crossed my arms defensively. “It?
??s a two-way street. You don’t make much of an effort.”
“I tried,” he said. “At the beginning, you know that.”
He did. Texts and emails. I had no social media so that was out. He’d call but I didn’t answer. I didn’t respond. A clean break was what we agreed on. Eventually he joined the AU team, gaining fame and celebrity with the position. After that he didn’t try anymore.
“Don’t turn this on me and I won’t turn it on you.” I pushed my sleeves up, revealing faint scars, but nothing new. “I’m fine. Better than fine. I’m doing pretty good.”
“So no cutting.”
“I don’t do that anymore.”
“No…attempts?”
Suicide. It was a fair question, although it hurt that he didn’t trust me. “No. Never again. I’m better, Hayden. Truly. I take my meds. I see a therapist twice a month. I have a great job. I have friends.”
“Good. I’m glad to hear it. It was difficult not knowing—being so far away and so busy. Seeing you now makes me realize how well you’ve done since we broke up, or whatever the hell you want to call it.”
“I didn’t really have a choice but to move on. Did you?”
He shook his head and then surprised me by asking, “Dating anyone?”
My jaw set and I realized I didn’t have an obligation to tell him everything about myself. Our eyes met and held for a moment but I didn’t relent.
“Tell me about Sabine,” I suggested even though I didn’t want to know.
He shrugged and looked out at the water. “She was assigned to me by the coach to work through my last few injuries. I keep fucking up my ankle and then the concussions.”
“Bad?”
“I know I should have rested longer, but I hate not being out there on the field.”
“I know, but you’ve got to take care of yourself. I’ve watched you play your entire life. You take a lot of risks on the field. Dangerous ones.” I touched the back of his head. “It’s your brain, Hayden. You can’t screw with that.”
“I know, and Sabine has helped me with that. Making me slow down and do the training. Learn how to protect myself. That last game…things just got out of hand. That asshole striker was way over aggressive.”
“You’re a target on the field. You know that.” I sighed and laid my hands in my lap. “I’m glad you’ve had someone to stick by your side. She’s pretty and even though she was a little…uh, defensive, at the hospital, it was obvious she cares about you. From what I hear, the tabloids love her. And you. They love both of you.”