I rolled my eyes and he gave me a sexy, lopsided grin. It was impossible to not fall prey to his charms.
“I’m about to run an errand. Want to come along?” I asked.
“Yeah, I’d like that.”
A minute later I was trapped in the car with Jackson, overwhelmed by his scent, his voice, his presence. Maybe this wasn’t a great idea after all.
“So is this where we finally have that awkward talk?” he asked when we were a few blocks away and he’d touched every button on the dashboard.
“We probably should…right?”
“It depends.” He took a deep, steading breath. “Did you get what you wanted? Did you find closure?”
I stared out the front window and not into his piercing blue eyes.
“I don’t know. I’m not exactly sure it’s possible, not with the complexities of our relationship.”
“You mean everyone else?”
“Yes.”
“Do you want the same from them? Are you going to try?”
“I could,” I said, turning at the light. “But what I realized with you is that there’s this little part of me that doesn’t want to let go. So what if that part exists with everyone else? What if it just gets bigger and with everyone still spread out, with Hayden…unavailable…what happens then?”
He ran his hand through his hair. “I don’t have an answer to that.”
“What about you?” I asked. “What was the other night to you?” I pulled into the parking lot of the dry cleaners and noticed I had five minutes before it closed. I held up my hand and said, “Shit. Hold on to that answer.”
I scrambled out of the car and ran into the building. I saw a figure in the back and called out, “I’m here for a pickup.”
“What’s your name?” a voice called out.
“Heaven Reeves.”
The figure paused before rummaging through the rack of cellophane-covered clothing. When the worker finally emerged, it took me a moment to catch my bearings, to recognize the person in front of me.
“The one and only Heaven Reeves.” Spencer Harrison eyed the dress he was carrying. “I should have known.”
I swallowed, ignoring the jab. I’d heard rumors about Spencer since high school; that he got arrested a few times. That he never graduated. That he worked construction. I’d never seen him. Not until this moment. “How much do I owe you?”
“Hmmm…well, that’s a loaded question. How much do you owe me?” He rubbed his scraggly beard with a hand covered in tattoos. “What’s the financial equivalent of a senior year of high school, a diploma, and a clean criminal record?”
I pulled a twenty out
of my wallet and said, “I’m not here to rehash ancient history, Spencer. Just give me the dress.”
“What? You don’t want a little reunion?” He eyed me, looking me over for the first time. “You’ve only gotten hotter, Heaven. I always thought you were a little skinny, but now?” He made a gross motion, mimicking the outline of my body. “There’s a little meat on you to hold onto, if you know what I mean.”
There were moments in my life where I felt like I was walking in quicksand. When I was around my father, around Noah in college, around the closed-minded people in the town. Occasionally I ran into someone that knew me back then, that’d heard and believed the rumors, and all I felt was a wave of hopelessness that I would never be enough.
Spencer, despite his greasy hair and pathetic life, knew how to rattle me. He’d always had, and I turned to walk away, leaving my dress and getting the hell out of there.
I bolted through the door, listening to the cackle of his laughter. “You’re like this dress, Heaven, old and damaged. You can try to clean it up but you’ll always carry a few unremovable stains.”
My eyes were blinded with tears so I didn’t notice the man coming through the door. “Babe, you okay?” Jackson asked, hands on my shoulders, eyes focused behind me.
“It’s no big deal, Jax. I don’t want to do this today.”