“You look happier than I’ve seen you in a long time.” She studied me. “You’ve been doing really well for a long time personally and professionally. Killing it, honestly, but there was something missing—a piece to your puzzle. I figured you’d fill it with someone else, something new, but I don’t think that was what was wrong.”
“I don’t think it was either,” I agreed. “I also think that after the other day I realized something else about me and the Allendale boys. We had to evolve and change in our relationship. Just like how we changed from high school to college, we had to evolve into adults. Open ourselves up more. Like you and Ginger getting married, sharing this new kind of bond. Me and the guys…well we needed to do that, too, with one another. The three of us together…it felt so right.”
Amber gave me a weird look and then walked across the room, gathering me in her arms. Her hug was breathtakingly tight.
“What’s this for?” I asked, when I could get the words out.
She leaned back and smiled. “My little girl is growing up and it’s such a delight.”
“Shut up,” I said, pushing her away.
“Nope.”
She did though, and I wrapped my arms around her too, thinking about how she was right; I did know what was wrong and two pieces of the puzzle were back in place.
Now I had to figure out what to do about the other two.
37
Hayden
Three weeks until I head back to training camp. Three weeks to get back in top condition. Three weeks before I can walk away from Allendale, the memories, and the past.
That was my mantra as I lifted weights, over and over I repeated it, willing myself to believe it. Bryant thought I could do it, he was counting on it. Calling me every day to check on my progress, talking about the future back in Atlanta, when I’d be done with Allendale for good.
I’d gone on a run that morning—alone—pushing myself faster than the day before. My ankle held. My ribs were still sore to the touch but I’d learned to work past it, adding reps to my weight training. Jackson was pissed I’d stopped using his program. Sabine was pissed I stopped returning her calls. Heaven…well, Heaven and I hadn’t spoken since the day in the park.
The fight in the park felt strange. I’d been angry, but those feelings rolled over me more often lately. Deep down I knew I needed her mad at me, but I also may have gone too far, although distance would be helpful so I could focus on recovery, on my career, and on moving forward. Coming back to Allendale had been a mistake. I blamed my agreement on the haze of drugs while I was in the hospital. The idea of being somewhere familiar—with the guys—seemed good while I was high, but I had no fucking clue it would be a catalyst for bringing Heaven crashing back into our lives.
I dropped the weights on the rack and stripped off the hand wraps, sweaty and wet. My shirt was drenched, sweat poured down my face and I wiped it away. When I looked up, RJ Malone stood in front of me.
“Hey man,” I said, offering him a damp handshake.
“You’re killing it over here,” he said. “You’d never know you had an injury a month ago.”
“Thanks,” I said. “Doing it in here is one thing, but getting back on the field is another.”
“How long do you have?”
“I report back to pre-season June first.”
“Well, if I was a betting man I’d say you’ll be just fine.”
“Either way, I’ll be ready to get out of here.”
“You don’t like Allendale? I kind of like it—way better than the traffic and insanity of LA or New York.”
“Allendale is okay. I think I just outgrew it.” I pointed to the bench press. “Spot me?”
“Sure.”
I laid on my back and RJ took his position behind the bench. He watched as I lifted the weight off the rack and lifted the bar six times, each one getting progressively harder. On the last one I wobbled, arms exhausted, and he grabbed for the weight and helped me put it back in position. I exhaled and sat up.
“Any of this dislike of Allendale have to do with your ex, Heaven?”
I wiped my face again and glanced over. “Heaven told yo
u about us?”