“I’ve been…lost, I guess. Confused.” I looked up at the ceiling. “I thought I’d figured it all out, Heaven. I had a plan, and then I got injured and my whole life turned upside down. Suddenly you were back, except you weren’t. And I had this whole carefully crafted life that I was afraid to mess up. Because if I fucked that up like I’d fucked everything up with you, what would I have left?” I felt her fingers touch mine and it was like a wave of relief washing over me.
“Despite our status, Hayden, we always have one another. Always.”
“I thought maybe we could all just be friends again, baby steps, and I could figure out how to navigate both worlds, but then I saw you with Jackson and Oliver and I just lost it.”
“That anger was valid. We should have told you.”
“It wasn’t anger,” I said, “not really. It was mostly jealousy and fear.”
“You could have talked to me.”
“I should have.”
Her fingers brushed over my forehead. “How long have the headaches been bad?”
“I mean, they never really stopped, but when I started working out harder they intensified.”
“After you refused to run with me?”
I nodded. “That was a mistake.”
“You’re sick, Hayden. Your brain needs time to heal.”
“But what if I lose my spot on the team?” All my work. The blood, sweat, and tears.
“If it means saving your life, I think it’s a risk you have to take.”
I glanced away, not sure if I could do it.
“You’re more than Hayden Pierce, star goalie, to me. You’re Hayden Pierce, artist, friend, lover.” She nudged my chin so I was looking into her beautiful face. “You’ve taught me so much, but mainly you’ve taught me life is about living. Surviving. It’s not about suffering and pain.”
“When did you get so wise?”
She smiled. “It only took a few hundred trips to the therapist.”
I snaked an arm around her waist and pulled her close. She leaned over, pressing her forehead against mine. It took a boat load of courage for me to admit, “I’m scared.”
“I know, but you’ve got me to rely on and your three best friends, and if you stop fighting us maybe you can heal and get back to doing what you love.”
I felt her breath on my face and we hadn’t been this close in years. My body, even exhausted, still reacted to her the same. It took every ounce of self-control not to flip her over in the bed and claim her right then. She smiled down at me, knowing me well enough to sense my thoughts, and I brushed her hair out of her eyes. “I’ve spent too long not doing the one person I love.”
Her eyes flared with desire and she bit down on her bottom lip.
I lifted my chin, willing to push past the pain to finally taste her once again, but loud voices interrupted us and the door flung open with a loud bang. Heaven sat up but I held onto her hands, and we both looked at Anderson and Bryant standing in the doorway.
“What the hell is going on?” Bryant shouted, looking frantic. “I get a call from the doorman about an ambulance showing up to your house and then there are EMTs all over the fucking place. And then this guy,” he glared at Anderson, “had the fucking gall to tell me not to come back here.”
“Bryant, now isn’t the time.”
“What do you mean it’s not the time? You and I were supposed to be at a charity event in an h
our. Sabine is waiting at the stadium. And you’re what? Sick? Hungover? What?”
“I’m not better, Bryant. Not yet.”
His eyes widened, but the set of his mouth confirmed he’d suspected. “Okay, we can handle that. It was a long shot and we knew it, but I can talk to your endorsers and we’ll go over your contract with management to figure out the next steps.”
“Thank you.”