“I don’t have one.”
“They’re too young for me, but I wouldn’t mind spending some time with Hollingsworth, just to see that body up close.”
I wonder what she’d think about the two of us spending every morning together, huddled up on the boulder watching the sunrise. Fully dressed, at that.
“I don’t think of them that way,” I say, trying my hardest to make my voice even. She shakes her head in disbelief. She’s right. That one may be a stretch. We’re back at the lodge and I need to go get ready. “Thanks for the bathing suit. I hope it fits.”
“It’ll look great.” She then adds quietly, “They’ll love it, too.”
“I told you—”
“I know what you told me, I’m just adding in my opinion. They’re going to love it, Starlee. Have fun today.”
I nod and thank her again, already feeling the rush of butterflies in my stomach. I’m going on a hike with four amazing guys. Four guys that think of me as a friend. Four guys I couldn’t choose from, if I ever had the chance.
My mother may be wrong about boys being bad for me, but she’s right about one thing: they definitely, completely, absolutely complicate matters.
Dexter drives and the boys offer me the front seat. I take it, not knowing how I’d react to sitting on the flat bench in the back with boys flanking either side. The good news is their energy and personality takes up the car, leaving little space for uncomfortable silence or for the gazillon panicked thoughts running through my head, like; can they tell I’m wearing a bikini? Did it hurt when Dexter got his lip ring? How can this many boys, all packed into one car, smell so good?
My mind races, along with my heart, as we head off for adventure.
My knowledge of Lee Vines is limited to the little strip of shops and lodging along the main road, so when Dexter veers the Jeep down a dirt road just past the diner, I’m curious where we’re going.
“Does this go all the way to the waterfall?” I ask. We hit a bump and I hold on to my seat.
“No,” Dexter replies. “We’ll take this as far as we can go, then park. We’ll hike the rest.”
“And it’s not a hard hike?” I’ve asked this three times already.
I see the barest signs of amusement on his lips. “Nope.”
“Okay.” I hold my backpack in my lap, messing with the zipper.
“Why are you so worried?”
I shrug and look out the window at the passing scenery. In some ways, it’s kind of bland. Rocks and brush and mountains. But to me, a visitor from a landscape so different, it’s fascinating. “I just worry.” I confess. “About everything. Why would this be any different?”
A hand from the back seat squeezes my shoulder and I nearly jump out of my seat. My heart sputters when Jake says, “Because we’re with you, that’s how it’s different.”
The road narrows and as Dexter navigates the car to a cut-out reserved for parking, Jake’s words linger in my mind—they lit something in me. I feel a rush of desire—not physical—emotional, and when Dexter removes the keys out of the ignition, I blurt, “Wait!”
He frowns, tongue flicking out over the silver ring. The boys in the back quiet and look at me expectantly. I take a deep breath and say, “I need to tell you something.”
Dexter’s eyebrows rise. “Go ahead.”
My hands tremble in my lap, but the information I’ve held for so long rushes out of me. “I’m not…I’m not a normal girl. I haven’t lived a normal life. No school. No friends. No anything. Something happened in middle school and my mom pulled me out and just kind of…hid me away. I spent a lot of time in therapy. Switching up meds. Until this summer when she sent me out here.” I glance up and see them all watching me. My cheeks burn hotter. “I’ve never played sports or had a slumber party. Dinner at your house was the first time I’ve done something like that. Hanging out with you—talking to each of you—that’s new for me. And really scary.”
The guys are quiet until Dexter cuts his eyes at me and says, “No shit, Starlee.”
Anger replaces the anxiety. “What?”
Jake’s hand squeezes my shoulder again. “What I think he means to say is that we suspected something like that.”
“You suspected that I wasn’t normal?” I’m not sure why I’m surprised.
“No,” George says, leaning toward me from the back seat. “You give off a vibe. One we’re pretty familiar with.”
“What do you mean?”