“God no. So much of it was so awful. All that hippie stuff. I looked like such an idiot all the time. I wouldn’t be caught dead in it. Feel free to toss it all.”
Her tone is dismissive and all I ever want is to just connect to her on a real level. An equal level, but even in a small moment like this I realize it’s impossible. Again, I see my reflection but this time it’s different. I feel foolish. Cheap. I’m yanking the braid out of my hair when I hear a knock on the kitchen door. Jake stands in the window, eyes raking down my body.
He opens the door and steps inside. Suddenly the room is too small.
“You make sure you’re with your grandmother all night, okay? Some of those men drink too much. Oh and crossing the street. Watch out for drivers. I know you get the feeling of safety up there but it’s a false security.”
“Okay, Mom. I’ll be safe. I promise.”
“I know you will, Starlee. You’re a good girl.”
My heart races in my chest and I smell the warm, clean scent of Jake standing on the other side of the table, watching me carefully. There’s no doubt about the desire in his eyes. It bolsters the remnants of my courage that my mother just shattered.
“Good night, sweetie.”
“Good night, Mom.”
I hang up the phone.
“Hey,” Jake says.
“Hi.”
“You look…god, you look amazing.”
I nervously touch the tie at the back of my neck. “Yeah? I found it in my mother’s closet.”
He steps closer and touches the bare skin on my waist. “You’re like some kind of dream.”
“Stop.”
“I won’t.”
So, I stop him, with my mouth. I push up on my toes and claim his lips, shushing the words but feeling them anyway. There’s zero doubt of his attraction. From the want in his eyes, to the pressure of his hands, to the hard excitement below his belly.
“Okay,” he agrees. “I’ll stop if you keep doing that.”
“Come on,” I say, taking his hand in mine. “Let’s get out there before Leelee finds us. She’s pretty tolerant but us making out in the kitchen may be her limit.”
Out on the porch, Jake stops me one last time. “I don’t know where you came from, Starlee Jones, but promise me you’ll never leave.”
It’s a promise I can’t make, but tonight is about fun and celebration. I kiss his cheek and follow him down the path toward the music and crowd. It only takes a minute before we find Charlie and Dexter, cleaned up and dressed for the night. They’ve spread out a blanket and wait for us to walk up to the small grassy area near the café where I notice most of the others in the area are younger like us. The band is visible in the distance but this little spot has a bit of privacy.
“Your grandmother and the other older residents take the seating for the concert. George’s checking on her to make sure she’s got everything she needs.”
“That’s nice.”
Charlie laughs. “Our motives may be slightly less than charitable. We wanted to hang out with you tonight.”
“Ah, I see. Where’s Sierra?”
“With some of her friends closer to the band. She’ll dance all night.”
“So this is the kids area.”
“Kind of. The whole scene is a little, ‘anything goes’ for the night. You know, some of these people were at Woodstock. They don’t judge,” Charlie says.
I eye a group of girls watching us from the picnic tables.