“What is he doing here?”
His blue eyes pierce mine and an uneasy feeling settles in my stomach.
“We’re driving him to Stanford,” she says, walking around me. “It’s on the way.”
I slowly make my way to the car. My mother walks toward us from the Wayward Sun, hauling two suitcases behind her. Jake’s eyes tear from mine as he moves to help both my grandmother and mother, grabbing their luggage and hoisting it in the back of the SUV. I still haven’t taken a step—I’m too shaken—when he walks up the sidewalk and reaches for my bag.
“What’s going on here?” I ask, my voice low.
“They offered—no, informed me that they were driving me to the training camp. So yeah, sorry, I figured someone would have told you.”
“Nope, once again, I’m the last one to hear.” I give him a tight grin. “Typical.”
He opens his mouth to speak but I’m not in the mood for it. He’s had his chances. Dozens of them. Just because he’s trapped in the car with me doesn’t mean I’m not still angry and hurt. All I want is the truth. Maybe an apology, and until he’s ready to do that, I’m not faking it for Mom and LeeLee.
I grab my bag and push past him, walking to the car. I toss my luggage in the back and slide in the backseat. A moment later he comes in the opposite door, bringing in his warm, drug-like scent. I face the window and hold my breath.
My mother gets behind the wheel and adjusts her rearview mirror until our eyes meet. She gives me a smile. “Everyone ready?”
Nope. Not in the slightest.
The trip is five hours long—but the first part is cutting through Yosemite, which provides amazing views and a reason to keep quiet. It also brings a flood of memories—Jake and I spent a lot of time here together or with the guys. We pass Mirror Lake, where we spent homecoming night, making s'mores by a fire and kissing in the dark. The two of us hiked the trails and he showed me places of quiet beauty on rocks or sitting by the clear streams. With every second I feel the air evaporating from the car and when I glance over Jake’s jaw is tight—his shoulders stiff. His hands rest by his side, balled and tense. So, it’s not just me having a problem driving through memory lane.
“It’s hard to believe I ever left this place,” Mom says from the front. “It really is gorgeous territory.”
“What’s it like in North Carolina?” Jake asks suddenly.
“Green,” Mom replies. “Big leafy trees, soft grass. Bushes that flower in the spring and summer. It’s different than here, where everything is brown and the mountains feel close but they’re always far away. There’s so much sky here. Unlike back home where the trees provide shade and cover. Spring is the best time of the year—although the fall leaves are pretty.”
Jake thoughtfully considers this. “I’d like to see it sometime.”
“Maybe you’ll get a chance if Starlee goes to school back east.” She smiles back at the two of us in the mirror.
From then on, I keep my mouth shut, not wanting to give my mother a chance to bring up school again or future travel with the boy next to me that has made it clear he’s moved on. I oblige when she pulls over and forces us into a variety of poses, all with the glory of the mountains behind us. And I definitely don’t react when she instructs Jake to put his arm around me to pull me into the frame, his strong hand grazing my lower back, reminding me of how much of an effect he still has on me.
After winding through the park, we exit the west gate and LeeLee reminds Mom to stop at the little shop on the side of the road. A sign declares, “Best Blueberry Cobbler in the West“.
“Dexter told me to stop and order a few to go. I’m supposed to send them back so he can taste test.” Mom looks oddly into this idea. Mailing dessert. “He has an idea for something called, Cain’s Cobbler, whatever that means.”
I start to follow her and LeeLee into the store but a strong hand pulls me back. My heart quickens, not surprised that a confrontation of some kind is coming…it’s been building, and the two of us in the car together has been like sitting on a powder keg.
I turn and face Jake, hating how handsome he is and how much my stomach hurts looking at him. “What?”
“Can we talk?”
“Now?” I glance toward the store. They won’t be in there long. “You’ve had plenty of chances to talk to me over the last few weeks and have made no effort.”
He rubs the back of his neck and stares at his sneakers. “I want to thank you for helping me with the test. I never would have passed it without you.”
“I don’t know if that’s true,” I say, “but I’m glad you did well. I never lost faith.”
“I know.” He looks pained. “I know you didn’t and I’m such an idiot for acting like that.”
“Stop calling yourself dumb. You’re not stupid, Jake.”
His blue eyes hold mine. “With you, I am. I’ve never met someone like you before—someone that challenges me yet supports me in everything I do. You’re so good, Starlee. So amazing.” He swallows, shoving his hands in his pocket. “You deserve someone better.”
I blink, pieces of a puzzle falling into place. “Is that what you think? That you’re not good enough for me?”