I stumble back, managing to get the door opened, and escape down the hall, not stopping until I reach the fresh air on the deck. I steady myself on the railing and take a gulp of air, telling myself that I did the right thing. I could have had her but it would have been wrong.
It would have destroyed the mission.
And if there’s one thing I want more than the Valkyrie, it’s to destroy my father.
31
Hildi
Luke walks out and I’m left alone in the cabin. Rejection…ouch. It fucking hurts even if he may be right. Is this all just part of the magical force of the circle? Was my dream really just Lucifer getting into my head?
We hadn’t stayed in a circle this long before, and it’s pretty obvious that the control here is strong. I imagine the power used to manage Agis has to be incredibly forceful. It’s entirely likely we’re being manipulated too.
That doesn’t help the painful humiliation I feel right now. I fall back on the bed and curl up into a ball, pressing my face into the pillow. I’m still there when there’s another knock on the door.
“Go away,” I call, not up to facing Luke or really anyone else.
Whoever is out there does not follow directions well, because a few seconds later there’s another knock.
“Hildi,” a voice calls, “Can I come in?”
I sigh. Rupert. I have no problem with Rupert, but if I know him, he’s probably well aware of my level of embarrassment right now.
“Yes,” I reply, then cover my head with the pillow.
I hear the door open and close, the soft shuffle of feet and then feel the bed sink. A gentle hand touches my back.
“Did you draw the short straw?” I ask. “Is that why you’re here?”
“You’re…upset.”
“No shit,” I mumble against the mattress. “Could you feel it?”
“You’ve been in turmoil all night. First the dream, then Luke. Why did he leave?”
I roll slightly so I can see his handsome face. He picks up my hand and kisses the back of it. “The real question is why did he come?”
“Because he’s part of this,” he replies. “Right?”
“I thought so? That’s what Morgan told me, if you know, that was really Morgan.”
“You don’t think that was really her?”
“I think I’m really confused, Ru. I think that this place fucks with my head and that we’ve been in this realm for too long. I don’t know what’s real and what’s not.” I sigh. “Luke is certain any feelings I have for him, any inkling that he may be part of our relationship, is just a trick by his father to sow discord and chaos.”
Rupert looks thoughtful, thinking about what I’ve just said. It’s good that he’s the one that came to me. Gods know how the others would respond. That idea makes me sit up.
“Wait, you’re not upset about the idea of me and Luke together?”
He threads out fingers together. “This has been a long and strange journey, Hildi, one that has taught me and the other Immortals much about life and love. We’re part of something bigger, something that binds us all together. Your determination and perseverance are what showed me that.” He touches my chin. “You’re right, losing Miya leaves us weak. This has always been about finding power within balance—all the way back to when we located the key, to when you made each one of us fall for you. What we don’t know is that maybe Luke has always been part of this. Maybe the gods put him in our path long before we got to this realm.”
Warm anticipation spreads through my chest. He’s right, I’d bought into this role, this line of destiny, because I believed in Morgan and the Guardians. I believed in what we were doing, despite all the challenges. Lucifer’s trick is spreading doubt, clouding our minds, confusing truth. I lean forward and kiss Rupert on the mouth. His fingers push back into my hair, tugging me forward. The bond we share loosens and expands, fear slipping away into something braver.
“Go get him,” he tells me, nose touching mine.
I nod and wrap my arms around him, already feeling stronger. We part and I head straight to the deck. I find Luke quickly, staring out at the castle, jaw clenched tight. A sword hangs from his hand. When he hears my footsteps he spins, weapon ready. He lowers it when he sees my face.
“What are you doing—” he starts, but I launch myself at him, not wanting his mind, his worries, or his fears to interfere with what I’m going about to do.