Once we both still and the room is nothing but the sound of our breathing, Miya rolls off my body, lying flat next to me.
“Thank you,” I say, staring at the ceiling.
“Are you better?”
“Yes. You were…very thorough.”
We catch our breath. From the corner of my eye I watch his chest rising and falling. I want to apologize. I want to let him know how much I appreciate him. I want to make sure we’re okay. The words don’t come.
A few minutes later he shifts in the bed, legs slinging over the side. I study the ripple of muscles in his back as he reaches for his clothing. Marks from nails left red streaks down his back.
“Miya?”
He glances back.
“Are we okay?”
He looks down at me and touches my cheek. “Yes. You needed my help and I almost let you down because of my own, self-imposed rules. We’re a unit. If one of the Legion needed my blood or a weapon or for me to carry them to safety, I would do it in a heartbeat. You needed my body, there’s no difference.”
He swallows thickly and stands, pulling on his robe. His eyes don’t quite hold mine and there’s a flush to his cheeks. He can say there’s no difference in what we just did but I feel it—deep in my bones.
“Any remaining venom will wear off in a few hours. Typically, you would have orgasmed while she was drinking from you and none of this would have been a problem. I assume Rupert interrupted that?” I nod, still bewildered at his behavior. “It’s for the best. She didn’t need to be in your head.”
“The irony is she was looking for information about dating Marshal, not anything about why we’re here.”
He shakes his head. “When we first came through the portal, I thought this was a strange location for the Crusade. Too easy, but I’m realizing now there are different obstacles here. The stone is well hidden, and we’re caught in the trivialities of adolescent behavior.”
“Yeah, I’m starting to see that. I’ll apologize to Rupert tomorrow.” I grimace at the memory of throwing myself at him. “I probably scarred him for life. What did you mean when you said sex is complicated for him?”
“Our lives have been long and twisted, Hildi. Rupert will be okay, but if you want to know more, you should talk to him about it.”
I didn’t think that was likely. Facing him is going to be hard enough. I didn’t get the sense that Rupert was big into sharing his feelings, anyway.
“Sleep well,” he says, standing at the door. “One of us will be outside if you need us.”
“You don’t have to do that.”
He gives me a look, different from before. Things have shifted for us tonight. “It’s not an option, Hildi.”
It’s similar to what Agis and Armin said the day before. Is that all that just happened between us? Protection?
I want to ask more, but I can’t, exhaustion overtakes me. It’s been a long night—no, it’s been a long week. I nod gratefully and get under the covers, thankful for the relief. Halfway wanting him to get back in the bed with me. There’s no way in Hades that’s going to happen.
“Good night, Miya.” He closes the door behind him.
The last thing I think of before I fall asleep is that tomorrow isn’t going to be any easier.
31
Hildi
The knock on the door wakes me the next morning. I feel like shit. My neck aches and there’s still a slight dull throbbing between my legs. Even after being thoroughly fucked by Miya, the venom still lingers. I’m realizing how strong Marielle actually is.
I sigh, thinking back over the night. I convinced Miya to break his vow of celibacy, and the humiliation of trying to dry hump Rupert and being rejected.
Odin above, what is happening to me in this place?
I get out of bed, noting that Marielle’s side is still empty. I wonder what the guys did to her after she attacked me. I fling the door open and a boy stands on the other side. He’s small—an underclassman. He thrusts a note toward me. “This is for you,” he says, handing it over.