I didn’t even want kids.
But…
What if?
What if?
“Heaven?” Anderson called, startling me from my ruminations.
I steadied my voice. “Yes?”
“The kids just left. I was checking to see if you’re okay.”
I glanced away from the test—terrified. “I’m fine. I’ll be out in a minute.”
I needed a minute. I needed air, then I’d take the test. I just needed a few minutes to get ready. Maybe later when all the guys weren’t home.
I flung open the bathroom door and yelped when I saw not just Anderson in the room but all four boys. “What are you doing here?” My heart raced in my chest.
“You seemed out of sorts—you’ve seemed that way for days,” Oliver said. Jackson, changed into dry shorts, nodded. “Are you really okay?”
I glanced behind me, fully aware that the test was just out of sight but on the counter. “I was, uh…” Anderson looked at me with that line of worry on his face. Hayden’s jaw clenched. I couldn’t string them along like this. It wasn’t fair. “I’m late.”
No one spoke until Jackson replied, “For what?”
Oliver elbowed him. Hard.
“My period is late, which is unusual, but I was sick and on all those meds and then I changed birth control and it’s possible that things got mixed up.”
No one said anything. Not a word. I didn’t blame them. What would they say? We agreed. We’d finally, totally agreed, and here I was, complicating things in the most complicated way.
“But you’re not sure,” Anderson finally said, hand running through his hair.
“No. I, um, I was going to take a test. I have one. It’s in the bathroom.”
Again no one spoke, like they were waiting for me to decide, and all the emotions of the past few weeks brought hot tears to my eyes. “I’m scared.”
Jackson frowned. “Of what?”
“Losing you. Losing this. Us. All of it.”
He got to me first but the others followed. It was one thing to be soothed by one person that loves you—but four? There was no comparison.
Anderson spoke first. “Heaven, we love you regardless of what happens when you take that test, and we’ll deal with whatever the outcome.”
“He’s right,” Hayden agreed.
Oliver nodded. “Absolutely.”
“You’re never getting rid of us, understand?” Jackson replied, kissing my cheek.
I nodded, believing them. I didn’t really ever doubt it—I guess I doubted myself, but I’d been through worse—harder things, and it was time for me to step up and deal with reality.
Two minutes later we stood, huddled around the bathroom counter waiting for the test to confirm one way or the other.
Without looking, I grabbed it off the marble and I turned to face them. “No matter what happens, know that I love you so much.” I exhaled. “Ready?”
Four handsome faces nodded in reply and I knew they meant it. We were ready. We’d always been, and that knowledge gave me the courage to face the truth.