“You’re most likely suffering from PTSD,” Dr. Ramsey says. We’re in his laboratory office in the bunker-like area under city hall. Avi apparently had the foresight to prepare such a facility despite his reservations about Jane’s work. Or possibly because of his reservations. In any case, Dr. Ramsey has made himself at home.
I’d come to tell him what I knew about Alex and Jane. He has a small report on his desk, apparently from one of the spies in Chloe’s army, but the details are vague other than, they’re alive. Paul had explained further, that like Cole, it’s possible to hide a Mutt inside the Hybrid army and Erwin had done just that. I don’t know how many or in what capacity but it seems to be working so far. Somehow I ended up telling Dr. Ramsey about the panic attacks I’d been experiencing since arriving in Catlettsburg.
I shake my head at his PTSD comment. Not because it isn’t possible but I say, “I don’t think I’m necessarily past the trauma stage of the apocalypse.”
He sighs and rubs his gray beard. “No, I’m not sure we ever will be but once we settle into a new environment, usually a safer one, that’s when the anxiety occurs. Your body and mind just don’t know how to rest.”
I consider that he may be right but I’m not sure how that’s going to work when we still have a major battle ahead. I say as much.
“The General needs time to prepare his attack on the Hybrids. You should take the opportunity to rest and repair your body. You’re going to need to be at your best.”
I laugh. “Do you think they even need me? They’ve got an entire army of super soldiers and a bunch of civilians wanting to join in.”
“True,” he agrees. “You’re not a match to some of their more enhanced qualities but trust me, son, you’re going to play a role in this fight.”
“You think?”
“I know. Someone is going to have to go in there and get my daughters. You’re one of the few I trust can do it.” I nod, understanding more about my role in this situation. I’m not used to not being in charge. “They may not make it out, and if they do, they may not make it out in one piece—at least mentally. I’ve seen what Chloe can do. The reports we’r
e getting back, particularly on her treatment of her brother, are disturbing. Alexandra is going to need you strong and healthy.”
The idea of Alex being tortured by Chloe not only makes me rage with anger, it makes me physically ill.
“I don’t understand what’s happening to me. It’s not like I haven’t had friends in battle before. Friends captured and even killed. Some missing that never returned.” I look up him, guilty for expressing this aloud. “But it’s part of my job. It always has been. I’ve been desensitized to situations like this for a long time before the Crisis.”
Dr. Ramsey leans over his desk, notes pressed under his elbows. I can see that Alex has her father’s nose and the same worry lines by her eyes. “What’s happening to you is that back then you had nothing to lose. You had a mission and a fight and you did it, regardless of the casualties. That changed with Alexandra.”
My heart thrums and my palms sweat again and this is not a conversation I want to have with her father. Or with anyone else. I’m not one to discuss feelings.
“You care for my daughter,” Dr. Ramsey continues, “and it changes the game. It’s not just a mission—it’s personal.”
“How do you know this?” I ask.
“Because I’ve been in love before, Wyatt, and that’s what it feels like, although in your case, magnified by one million due to the circumstances.”
I stare at the man across from me. The father of the woman I love. Yeah, love. He said it and I can accept it, but that doesn’t mean I have any freaking clue how to proceed. I’m in uncharted territory here—the end of the world, in love with a woman who has been captured by the enemy. There’s only one thing I can do.
Suck it up and get ready.
Chapter Thirteen
Four Months Later
“Who taught you how to run? An Eater? Because that’s what you look like! A fumbling, brain-dead, skin falling off, piece of crap! Get those knees up! Straighten your back! Run! Run! Run!”
I glance at Jude, who seems to be having way too much fun training the recruits. He grins, knowing he’s being a dick, but I’m also the one that taught him how to do it so there’s nothing I can do but shrug. Boot camp sucks, but it will turn these men and women into soldiers and that’s what I’m here to do. That’s how we’ll get Alexandra back.
Days after arriving, Erwin asked me personally to lead the recruits and train the civilians for the upcoming battle. From my talk with Dr. Ramsey I knew I needed to keep busy and focused but also stay away from any actual fights outside the walls. It was a good fit and I brought Jude and Green in to assist since they both had training under Jane’s regime as Fighters.
We worked the recruits hard, pushing them through the humid summer days. At night as they slept, we met in the gym Jackson and Green used to train Alex and Walker in ju-jitsu and blew off our own steam, staying fit and fighting in the ring. Paul found out about our sessions and joined in, bringing some of the Mutts with him. Individually, the hybrid-Hybrids are okay to be around. They communicate and don’t have that blank-eyed stare the regular Hybrids do, but as a group they’re a little intimidating, and the gang-style attitude and clothing they’ve adopted is a little unnerving.
“You think they’re ready?” Green asks as we watch the recruits work their way through an elaborate obstacle course. We set it up in the old soccer field behind the church. We’re observing from a small balcony near the sanctuary.
“I think they look better than they did three weeks ago,” I reply.
“I wonder how many will take the EVI-2?”
I shake my head. “Most.”