I sighed. “I have to deal with my mother.” I gave Kai my mother's address in East Boston, and he sped silently through the night. “I wish we could just go home,” I said. “I mean—your home.”
James put his arm around me. “Do you want to tell me what’s happening?”
“Nope,” I said. Because then you’d try to fix it, and it’s my cross to bear.
James sighed and sat back. “What do I have to do to get you to trust me? This is safe,” he said, pointing between us. “You can tell me anything. It’s not like we have to hide anything from each other.”
“I’ll trust you when you trust me,” I said. “I seem to remember you have some things you’re keeping to yourself.” I thought he would move away from me then, but instead, he pulled me closer.
“The things I’m keeping from you I’ve kept from everybody,” he said. “You shouldn’t take it personally.”
“Same for me,” I said. “There’s just some stuff that no one else needs to know.”
“But what if I want to know?” James asked. He tucked my hair behind my ear. “What if I want to know who you are?”
“So you can fire me again?” I asked. He narrowed his eyes at me. “I’m kidding—relax,” I said.
“And I feel the same way about you... but James, don’t you kind of wonder what the point is? We’re only going to know each other for another week.” The thought made my heart lurch.
James looked down at our entwined hands. “Maybe the point is that we care about each other, even if it’s just right for now. I don’t care about too many people, Audrey. It’s a very short list.”
My heart lurched again, and I grimaced. Don’t tell me things like that, I thought.
“I care about you, too,” I said.
Stupid, stupid, stupid, I fumed at myself.
He kissed my forehead. “Then that’s reason enough.”
Kai pulled up outside my mother’s building. “Saved by the bell. I guess we can’t talk anymore—we’re here,” I said, relieved.
“I’m going in with you,” James said.
“I need you to stay here. I have to do this by myself.” I looked at my watch: it was nine o’clock. My mother was definitely drunk and most likely belligerent at this hour. It was nothing I wanted James to see. “Please.”
“Is it safe?” he asked, nodding toward her run-down apartment complex.
“This is where I grew up. It’s my mother. I’ll be fine—and I’ll be right back.” Kai opened the door for me, and I got out.
“Audrey.” I leaned back down to look at him. “I’ll be waiting for you.”
I sighed and quickly headed up the stairs to my mother’s entrance, not looking back at the car. I didn’t want him to be here, near the ugliness my mother always caused. I knocked on her door but there was no answer; the lights were on, though, so I tried the door. It opened, and I took one last deep breath of clean air before I went inside.
There she was at the kitchen table, next to an overflowing ashtray, smoking as if she were going to the electric chair. “Hey, Ma,” I said through the haze of smoke.
“Well, if it isn’t Little Miss High and Mighty. You’re looking fancy,” she said. “Nice of you to finally show up.” Her hair was long and thin, with bleached ends and long, oily-looking roots. She’d been pretty once. Now her skin was red and mottled from too many Boston winters and too many Marlboro Lights.
“You were waiting for me?” I asked.
“You know I got into an accident today. You know they towed my car and that I don’t have any money.”
I would have felt bad for her then, had I not known any better. She didn’t want my sympathy. She wanted my money.
“No offense, Ma—but how is that my problem exactly?” It wasn’t what I should have said. But the half-empty bottle of Jack Daniels on the table and the fact that she’d tried to take money from New Horizons today pushed me over the edge.
“I don’t know why a hooker thinks she’s better than her own mother. At least I worked an honest job,” she said. She had that nasty tone in her voice, the one that said she was just itching for a fight.
“You haven’t had an honest job in a long time,” I reminded her. “Last time I checked, your job was drinking, smoking, and trying to get by on other people’s money.”