“What?” he asked, smiling at me. “Oh, that.” He pressed his hard length in between my legs, and I moaned—and then I thought better of it and swatted him.
“Stop,” I said.
“I actually can’t stop,” he said, grinning. “You’re so fucking hot in that bikini.”
I laughed. “I appreciate that and all, but you need to calm down. So we can at least walk back to our room without people staring at your crotch.”
“Then let’s just stay here,” he said, poking me again with it.
“I need to help you with that thing,” I said, laughing. “It seems like it’s gonna burst.”
“Now, that’s an offer I can’t refuse,” he said. He pulled away from me and went to my side. “I’ll just need a minute to calm down. Then I’m throwing you over my shoulder and carrying you home.”
I linked my hand through his. “Works for me.”
We watched Cole and Jenny engage in a vicious battle with Todd and Evie for the biggest splash contest. In between jumps, they were doing tequila shots.
“Jenny seems like she’s warming up to Evie,” I said.
“Four shots of tequila will do that to you,” James said.
Cole jumped up and did a massive cannonball, leaving an atomic blast of water in his wake. Jenny was clapping and jumping up and down on the side of the pool. When Cole came up from under water, she reached down to give him a high five. Instead, he pulled her into the pool, giving her a huge kiss.
“I think Cole’s in love with her,” James said out of the blue. “I don’t know if he knows what that means, though.”
“He’s never been in a relationship?” I asked.
“Not one that lasted more than two weeks.”
We watched them for another minute, their arms wrapped around each other, both of them carefree and happy. James turned back to me. “I want you to come to California with me when we get back.”
“James, I can’t—my brother, my mom, all the other stuff we haven’t even talked through—”
“I don’t care,” he said, cutting me off. “We’ll bring your brother with us. The rest of it will sort itself out.”
“I don’t know what to say.”
“Then don’t say anything,” James said, shrugging. “Or just say yes.”
* * *
He didn’t carry me back to the room like he threatened to, but we did practically run there.
I let myself enjoy the moment. Maybe the hot sun was getting to me, or maybe I’d had too many rum punches. But I didn’t let myself think about all the bad things in our way. I only thought of him.
“Oh my God, I need you,” he said. He kissed me as soon as we made it through the door, his hands skimming my body, my bathing suit still damp against me.
Then he stopped. He ran his hands through my hair and looked down at me, his steel-blue eyes burning. “Please don’t ever pull away from me again like you did last night. My fucking heart can’t take it, Audrey. I mean it.”
I bit my lip. “I know you don’t understand, but I did that to protect you.”
He took my face in his hands. “You’re not protecting me by running away from me. I need you to stand by my side.” His eyes searched mine. “Do you understand?”
“Yes, but—” I started.
“No buts,” he said, dropping his hands from me and taking a step back. “I’m telling you what I need. I love you. I need to know that you love me, too, and that you’re going to stay with me.”
“I can’t promise you that,” I said, feeling my buzz wear off instantly. My doubts returned, numerous and ugly. “I don’t know if I can. What if I think that I’m not the right thing for you? I love you—I want you to have everything in life that you’re supposed to have. And that’s probably not me.”