She groaned. "Before you went and messed things up, I thought that Pierce was interested in me again."
But you don't love him. You just want to go shopping again. And plan dinners at all the right places. That's all you want. You don't care about anybody.
Not even me.
Not even me.
"Good luck with that, Mother." I willed my tears away. "And you might want to pour yourself a drink before you watch the Entertainment channel this week. Make it a stiff one."
"What on earth does that mean?" she shrieked. "I'm coming out there to put a stop to this. You're the one who needs something stiff! A stiff dose of reality! You've lost it."
But I knew, I just knew, I'd only just found it. "Speaking of stiff, Kyle does have a nice dick. And I do enjoy it. And he is a bad boy." I heard her inhale sharply, and I almost relished making her upset. "But do you know the best thing about him? Do you?" I realized I was yelling at her and my whole body was shaking. "It's that he loves me, Mom. And I can trust him."
"I can't believe my own daughter is so naive that she's—"
"I feel sorry for you," I interrupted. "Because you will never, ever know what love like that feels like. But I hope your new barre class is great. And your new ten-thousand-dollar bucket bag. Good luck with keeping your face up. It's turning into a regular full-time job, whether you want one or not."
"I cannot believe this is you, Lowell. You're going to pay for this. I am going to make you pay," she screeched.
But it was as if someone had dropped a house on her and she'd lost all her power over me. Suddenly, I didn't care if she went on screeching till her next facelift. I just shook my head. "I've already paid, Mother. So I guess this is good-bye."
I hung up, looking in my own eyes in the mirror for signs of despair. None came.
As if it were a new wrinkle, I took that as a visible sign of growing up.
* * *
The interview was booked for first thing in the morning. I had no idea what Katie would do between now and then, but I figured it couldn't be good. It was time to come clean. I invited Tori, Shirley, and Gigi over, and I made them pack their bags to stay the night. We needed to close ranks. After they arrived, they all fussed and cooed over Kyle, as if he were the conquering hero of my Hollywood image empire, which I suppose he was.
With a pit fully formed in my stomach, I called Lucas. "I've got good news, and I've got bad news."
"I always like to hear my good news first," he said. "Go."
"I'm engaged. Yay."
"I already saw that. That's fine news. Much better than the fight you two had up in Boston. Nicely done." He waited for a minute while I paced. "Is that it for the good news?"
"Um… it depends on how you define good, I guess."
I could almost hear him looking at his watch. "You know I don't have time for guessing games. Go."
"Kyle and I are doing an exclusive interview with the Entertainment network first thing in the morning."
"Did you clear that with your agent? I'm sending our PR person over. She needs to be on set—I already told you that. She'll have to vet the interview."
"Great," I said tightly. "That's great."
"So what's the bad news? Go," he commanded.
"I haven't lost a pound. But I've been working out, and I think I look pretty good."
"She looks great," Kyle called from the other side of the room. He, Tori, and Gigi were researching wedding venues and honeymoon destinations, in spite of my protests. "If you give her a hard time, I'm coming down to the set tomorrow to break your face."
I made a shushing motion at Kyle, but I was secretly thrilled by his threat. It was just so mas macho.
Lucas just ignored him. "Per our contract, you have to be in shape enough for our shoot."
"Per our contract, I'm in shape enough. I'm in better shape. I'm just not skinny."