"I don't know why you're here anyway—I thought Pierce had you on salary."
"He does. But this goes further than the pittance he's offered me, dear. You're ruining everything. I figured if you were going to blow up your career, I might as well try to get some long-term security out of this debacle. I'm the one who helped you build your career. But you don't seem to remember that, or to care."
"You came out here to extort me. To sell my story to the highest bidder. To make a profit from my mistakes. I don't owe you anything—I've already paid. I'm done."
She was shaking, she was so livid. Then she started to cry. "I can't believe you're turning your back on me like this. I've done everything for you. I was the one who believed in you and your career. I drove you to all those auditions… sacrificed money for your acting lessons and your braces…"
"That wasn't your money! And what else did you have to do? Play tennis? It's not like you were out curing cancer or even waiting tables, for Christ's sake!"
She looked as if I'd slapped her. "You've changed, and I don't think it's a good change, young lady. You're flushing your career down the toilet because of a man—no, a boy. He can't even support you. You know that, right? Pierce cut him off cold."
"I don't need a man to support me. I can take care of myself, thank you. And if my acting career's over, so be it. I can get some other sort of job. I'm not afraid to start over. The only thing I'm afraid of is missing out on the chance to love Kyle. A chance to really be happy." A traitorous tear crept down my face, and I roughly wiped it away. I needed to say this, but even after everything she'd done, it still hurt me to hurt her.
"I love Kyle." I reached for him, and he moved beside me, letting me have my say with my mother. "We're meant to be together. I love him more than I love my career. If I have to choose between the two—and I hope I don't, but if I do—I choose him. Because a life without him would be an empty life."
She shook her head. "You are making an impertinent, lust-based decision that's going to ruin your life."
"Just because Dad left you doesn't mean it'll happen to me! Or to you again!" I yelled. "I know you were hurt when that happened. I know you never got over it! But you've just pushed everyone aside. You treat people like they don't matter. All you care about is things. I don't want to be like that. I don't want to be you."
I was crying for real now, my nose running, and I didn't care. I'd never called my mother out on her feelings for my father and on what that abandonment had done to her. It was as if she'd become an ice princess after he left. No one could get to her heart, make it warm and loving again, full of life and vulnerability.
"Don't you dare speak about your father. You don't know anything about it." Her voice was hoarse.
"I'm sorry that happened to you. To us." I wiped my face and was grateful to feel Kyle still at my side, strong and supportive. "But you never gave anyone else a chance after that. It was like you were playing a game with your husbands: How much money could you get? How cold could you be?"
Caroline straightened her shoulders and dried her eyes, looking at me levelly. "Did it ever occur to you that it's less humiliating that way? That it's more dignified to be angry than sad?"
For better or for worse, I felt my heart soften. "No, Mom. It didn't."
"Well, of course it didn't." She sniffed. "You're not the only one in the family who's a great actress. Now"—she turned to Gigi—"if I'm being held prisoner for the rest of the afternoon, I have a couple of requests: Kleenex, a stiff drink, and magazines." She sniffed again then sashayed off to the living room.
"Don't let her out of your sight," I whispered to Tori, Shirley, and Gigi.
Tori nodded solemnly and handed me a tissue. "I'm proud of you." She gave me a quick hug.
I blew my nose loudly and grimaced. "Ugh. I'm not done yet. I gotta go see Lucas. Please don't let my mother drink all the booze. I'm pretty sure I'm gonna need some when I get back."
Kyle
"I'm proud of you too," I said.
Lowell was looking in the visor mirror, fixing her makeup, as I drove us to the studio.
"Thank you," she mumbled. "I only had the courage to say that to her because of you though."
"Don't undo it." I put my hand on her knee and squeezed. "You did that yourself. It took lady balls, and you did it."
She smiled and put on some more lipstick. "I'm going to need even bigger lady balls to deal with Lucas."
"Well, I have my man balls. For backup."
She laughed, and I suddenly knew that everything would be all right.
* * *
"You've got a lot of nerve," Lucas's assistant said to Lowell when we walked in. "Jenny wants you dead. Lucas is off-the-wall right now."
Lowell just smiled tightly at her. "I'm sure he is. Is he available?"