My Super-Hot Fake Wedding Date

“Yeah, well, I guess so.”

She didn’t say anything else, but she didn’t have to. The air in the car changed. Both Madison and Chip sat up straighter and started yoga breathing. I could feel the tension rolling off of them in waves. Maybe her parents really were that bad.

Chip pulled around the circular drive, and a butler—wearing a tuxedo, no less—came down the steps to meet us.

“You have a butler?”

Madison nodded. “We usually have a reduced staff in the off-season, but my parents have everyone working this week. That’s Pryce. He’s sort of a douche, just so you know.”

I laughed. “Perfect.”

She turned back toward me, an apologetic expression on her face. “I told you I’d do something nice for you, remember? It won’t be so bad—it’s just a weekend.” But she didn’t look as though she meant it.

“Hey.” I smiled. “Don’t worry about me. Game on.” Her parents could be lamb-sacrificing Satanists, and the butler could be the biggest D-word that ever lived, but it would still be better than sitting at home all weekend. I didn’t want to think about Katie and Dave getting married and all of our mutual friends—except for the ever-loyal Ryan—blowing bubbles at them or some such bullshit as they glowed in their happiness.

Maddy took a deep breath as Pryce opened the door. “Ms. Delaney.” He held out his hand for her.

“Hello, Pryce.” She nodded toward me as I climbed down from the SUV after her. “This is my boyfriend, Bob.”

Pryce was built like a wrestler, short and compact. His muscles strained beneath his tuxedo. His square face was punctuated with a snub nose and flared nostrils that made him appear as if he were perpetually sniffing the air around him. His gray hair was slicked back from his lined face.

He raised his eyebrows. “Boyfriend? How charming.”

I raised my eyebrows back at him. “Thanks.” But I didn’t mean it. Based on the way he was looking at me, as if I were something he might find on the bottom of his highly polished shoe, Madison was correct. Pryce was sort of a douche.

He gave me a tight smile. “Right this way.”

I gave him a tight smile back because I had no idea what the dude’s problem was.

Madison leaned toward me as we followed him inside. “Pryce is sort of like my mother’s personal watchdog. There was a lot of guilty-until-proven-innocent in my house growing up, courtesy of Pryce and his tattling.” She got closer and whispered, “He doesn’t like anyone but my mom. That’s what she values about him.”

“I see.” But I didn’t, not really. Why would she like that about him? We followed Pryce, and I wondered if maybe there was some way I could get Chip to drive me to the ferry without anyone noticing.

But as we climbed the granite steps and entered the massive foyer, a shrill voice cried, “Madison! Come here at once and let me meet your date!”

I took one last glance at the door and sighed. I was the date. They would miss me if I tried to book it out of there.

Madison grimaced and reached for my hand. I laced my fingers through hers and took a deep breath as she hustled me down a short hallway.

The house was different inside than what I’d expected—less formal, more comfortable. It was airy and bright, courtesy of the enormous windows that faced the water. Tall ceilings, exposed wooden beams, and polished wood floors reflected the natural light, adding to the feeling of elegant spaciousness. We passed a huge oil painting of the ocean, a bright-blue swathe with a tiny red boat in the middle.

I felt like that boat. I was surrounded, and I wasn’t sure where I was going.

But it became clear as Madison hustled me down the hall and pulled me into a bright, airy study with floor-to-ceiling bookcases. She cleared her throat. “Mother.”

“There you are!” Maddy’s mother, tall and lithe, leapt out of her seat. She wore a fitted gray T-shirt, white jeans, and a gauzy cashmere wrap. Her hair and makeup were impeccable and tasteful, just like the house. She smiled broadly beneath her white-blond bob, revealing her blinding teeth. I counted zero lines on her face. Zero. Not even a crow’s foot had been left as a clue to her age, which could have been anywhere north of forty.

“Who is this? It must be your someone special!” She turned her green eyes, that looked so much like Maddy’s, on me. “Well, hello there. No wonder my daughter’s been hiding you from me—you’re gorgeous!” She clasped my hands and got closer, her laser-like gaze zipping over every inch of me. Her diamond earrings were so big that I almost had to squint as she inched closer.

“Yes, you’ll do nicely. Finally, a real man. You could probably bench-press Sienna’s fiancé! In fact, I might try to arrange that!” She chortled.

Madison’s face turned beet red. “Mother, this is Roberto Palmieri—he goes by Bob. Bob is nice, and he’s my date for the weekend, so hands off, okay?”

Her mother frowned before she released me, taking one last appraising glance as she stepped back. “You never were one to share, Maddy.”

Madison’s blush spread down her neck in unruly blotches. “Right. Okay. Ah, Bob, this is my mother, Aileen Delaney. She won’t be pawing you for the rest of the weekend, I promise.”

Aileen made a face at her daughter. “Says you!”