I looked at her, confused. “Um, I’m sorry—what was I really doing?”
The doctor rested her face on her hands. “You were belittling yourself for being a burden.”
“I was?”
Hannah reached over and squeezed my hand.
“So, how are things going in the bedroom?” Kathy asked.
I was glad I’d said no to tea—I would’ve spit it out.
“Nothing like just cutting to the chase, huh?” I asked.
“Couples don’t come to me unless they need help. I can usually get a pretty good sense of what sort of help they need, based on what’s going on with them in the bedroom. So,” she said, smiling again, “what’s going on with you two in bed?”
Hannah cleared her throat. “Wes just got approved by his doctor to have sex, but we haven’t yet.”
“Why not?” Kathy didn’t blink.
“We started to fool around last night, but we stopped.”
“I was worried she wasn’t ready, because she’d just had a panic attack the night before.” I shrugged. “I didn’t want to rush it.”
“You said you started fooling around—what happened? What made you stop, specifically?” Kathy asked.
“I thought Hannah seemed distracted, so I wanted to wait,” I said. I could feel my face burning—I’d never talked to someone I didn’t know about my sex life before.
Kathy looked to Han
nah. “And what did you want?”
In response, Hannah scowled.
“Hannah?” Kathy sat back. “I’d like to remind you that honesty is your best shot in here. We gain nothing by wasting each other’s time with platitudes. If you waste my time, you’re wasting your time and Wes’s. And you won’t get better, and neither will your relationship.”
Hannah shot me an I-told-you-therapy-was-going-to suck look.
“So?” Kathy asked. “What did you want last night when you and Wesley were finally fooling around?”
Hannah composed her face. “I wanted to have sex with Wes. But I was thinking too much, and I got distracted by that, and then…then the whole thing sort of got away from me.”
“And Wesley noticed.” Kathy looked at me approvingly.
“Yes, Wesley noticed,” Hannah said.
“How did you feel when he noticed?” the doctor asked.
Hannah pursed her lips. “Annoyed.”
I looked at her sharply, but I didn’t say anything.
The doctor didn’t look at all surprised. “Why annoyed?”
“Because I just wanted to get it over with. I figured, once we’d done it—had sex, I mean—I wouldn’t have to worry anymore. Worry that Wes might have a heart attack, worry about feeling strange…”
Kathy leaned forward. “Why would you feel strange?”
Hannah shrugged. “I don’t know. It’s been a while.”