I hate how much of a mess I am over this, how easily he made me care for him.
Then his warmth is there, right behind me, his arm coming around my side, fingers tracing lines on my swollen belly. I’m still in my bikini, t-shirt, and shorts from yesterday. I can feel the warmth of his bare chest through the thin layer of fabric at my back, and somehow it makes me cry harder. Did he offer the chance for me to explore my options last night because that’s what he wants? Was he hoping I’d offer him the same thing despite him telling me that I’m the only one he desires?
His warm breath inches over my shoulder before he places a soft kiss there.
“It will break my heart if you want or need something different from what we have, April. I may never recover from it, but I would never hold you back either.”
I turn to face him, one arm curled between us, the other around his waist. He doesn’t miss a beat, pulling me completely flush to his body. I shake my head, rejecting the thoughts outright.
“I can’t imagine you with another woman.”
He chuckles, his laughing shaking me slightly. “I know this is going to sound cheesy, but I don’t even see other women anymore. They might as well be one of the guys because I don’t have a single sexual thought about them that way. When you walk by on the other hand, I get hard and count down the seconds until I can get you alone. I can’t wait to get my hands on you, my arms around your body. My lips tingle to kiss yours every second they aren’t touching.”
“I believe you,” I say, and as the words leave my mouth, I know they’re true.
He holds me tighter. “I don’t want you to get lost in your head. I don’t want you to hide and run away if you see something you don’t like. If I’m not acting the way you want, confront me. Right then and there. Don’t wait and let it fester. When you saw Nova walking toward me yesterday, you should’ve come out there and said something.”
I shake my head. “I would never do something like that. It’s not a woman’s place to—”
He kisses my mouth to shut me up. “Enough with that woman’s place shit, April. I wish you would make a list of all the things you think you can’t or shouldn’t do. I know I’ll counter every single one of them. Look at me.”
I drag my eyes from his chest to his eyes.
“I am yours. Do you really think I’m going to just stand around while another man flirts with you, or walks up thinking he can sample what’s mine?” He shakes his head, answering for me. “Not a chance. I’ll punch him in the nose.”
“I’m not hitting another person, Nate.”
“Don’t hit. I’m not saying violence is okay. I mean, that’s how I’d respond. I mean, stake your claim, and don’t be embarrassed by it. There’s nothing sexier to me than if you would’ve come and wrapped your body around me so I could introduce my wife to Nova.”
“I shouldn’t have to—”
“You don’t have to, but if the sight of that going on is going to make you want to leave me, then I’d prefer it if you came to me right then. I hate when you hurt, baby. I don’t mind reassuring you that I’m yours. I sure as hell wouldn’t care to let the world know to keep their distance from you, and I don’t mean that in a way of ownership, not in the way Charles fucking Knight would’ve. Have no doubts, April, you are mine, and you will be until you tell me that isn’t what you want.”
I shake my head. “That will never happen.”
“You want me to believe that?”
“Of course,” I tell him.
“Then you need to believe that it goes both ways. Do you?” I nod. “And I plan to make sure you remember every day that you’re loved and the most precious thing I could ever have. If you need that reassurance, just let me know, but if I’m doing my job right, you won’t ever have to doubt me again.”
I press my lips to his, just sinking fully against him, and he kisses me until yesterday is a distant memory and we’re right back in our happy bubble of bliss.
Since we didn’t get to do our putt-putt date weeks ago, Nate urges me out of the bed and into the shower with declarations that we’re going to have an amazing day. We touch all over in our mutual shower, but he won’t let me take it any further when I reach for him. When we dress, I make needy eyes at him, but he just winks, dressing even slower. He’s a tantalizing treat just to watch get dressed, but my body is craving his after so much emotion and doubt from yesterday. I’ve had the verbal promises. Now I need the promise only two bodies coming together can make.