“So, you’re …”
“Yup. Just like you.” I don’t miss the way I evade saying the actual words, and I don’t think he does either. I’ve never said them aloud though I know them to be true.
“We should start a bi club!”
“We should do what now?”
“Don’t mind me. I say impulsive nonsensical stuff all the time.”
I let out a small laugh.
“You’ll get used to it. So, this friend … you don’t want him or …”
God, how do I explain Talon and me? I don’t think it’s possible. “I’m worried he realized he was wrong and is walking away.”
“Oooh, so you’re the Damon in this situation.”
I rub the back of my neck. “I guess?”
“Well, I can’t speak for the other guy, but if Damon had never given me a chance, I’d hate to think what we would’ve both missed out on.” He glances over at his boyfriend with the same look he was giving him when we walked in—the look that tells everyone in this bar who Maddox belongs to.
“Okay, but this guy is now ignoring me. Do I push or leave it and wait for him to come to me?”
Maddox purses his lips. “That’s a tough one, because while I had no trouble wanting Damon, it’s not something everyone would be okay with. Not many guys wake up one day and go hmm, maybe I’ll try dick today.”
I laugh. “That’s how it was for you?”
“Sort of. I was more attracted to Damon as a person rather than to his cock. Although it turns out I’m fond of that too.”
I love that Maddox has no filter. “Thanks for making me feel better about this, but it’s not exactly helping. I’m the one hopelessly and pathetically into the straight guy who’s freaking out that he kissed me.”
“We need to ask Damon and Noah. They’d have better advice than me. I’m all about diving in and thinking of consequences later.” He goes to wave the other two back over to us, but I grab his hand.
“Can we not … I mean, no one knows about me. Like no one.”
Maddox’s eyes widen in shock. “Shit, man. Did we, like, just become besties?”
I cock my brow. “Is that the impulsive thing again?”
Maddox waves me off. “Wait, your friend who almost kissed you doesn’t know either?”
My gaze tracks Damon and Noah to make sure they’re not coming back over. “He thinks I’ve always been as straight as him.”
“I won’t say anything, I promise. I already know what Damon would say anyway. He’d tell you to run away from the straight guy as fast as you can. Even if it did work out with me, he’s been burned pretty bad in the past.”
“What really made him give you a chance?” I ask.
“What, my stunning personality hasn’t won you over yet?”
Okay, it has a little bit.
He relents. “Fine. He thought Matt and I were a thing, got jealous, and then decided I couldn’t experiment with anyone else.”
Well, when he puts it that way, panic claws at my chest. What if Talon ends up finding some other guy because I’m in New York and avoiding him?
No, wait, the ball was left in his court. I challenged him and he backed down … which Talon never does.
Fuck, maybe I’ve messed up worse than I thought.
A loud shout from the other side of the bar erupts as Damon cheers, presumably winning their game. As they pass their sticks over to people waiting for the table, I realize I’ve known Maddox literally fifteen minutes, yet he knows something about me no one else in this world knows. Whether it’s the drinks, his eerie similarities to Talon’s personality, or just that I’ve needed to talk to someone about this for so long, I don’t know, but now, it’s out there.
The others join us again, and more drinks are handed out, but Maddox’s words keep running through my head. I’ve been scared about a lot of things when it comes to Talon: being heartbroken, pining after him like a lovesick puppy, ruining our barely existent friendship, but I haven’t actually thought about what would happen if this was our real shot. What if it were to work out? What if I’ve fucked this up and he gets to experience it all with someone else first?
I stand suddenly. “I have to go.”
The other three were mid-sentence, talking about something I should’ve been listening to, so my abrupt announcement causes them to pause and look at me like I’m crazy.
In their defense, it could be true.
Noah stands too. “You want to crash at my place, or—”
“Uh, nah, that’s okay. You stay and keep drinking. I’ll catch a cab to the ferry.”
“I’ll walk you out,” Noah says.
Maddox jumps up. “I’ve got him.”
Damon looks at his boyfriend weird but then shrugs, and when Maddox and I make our way outside, he holds his hand out in front of me.