Before I can tell him to quit looking at me like I’m broken and that I’m fine and the doctor assures me it’s normal, he says, “I’m guessing your mom doesn’t know?”
“Doesn’t know what?”
“About us? And the guys in college?”
“There hasn’t been a need to tell her.”
I think I see hurt in Talon’s eyes, but that can’t be right. We haven’t even discussed what this is with each other; I’m not gonna come out to my mom and—
“I came out to my brother,” Talon says.
“You what?”
Of course, Talon is just … so fucking Talon. It’s not like I’ve struggled with my sexuality over the years internally, but externally, I knew there’d be consequences. It was easy to push down the side of me that likes guys because I could still be with women and not feel like I was pretending. But Talon … he figures out he’s bi and comes out of the closet before he even has a chance to climb into it.
It’s admirable, but fuck, if I don’t resent him a little for it.
“Okay, so, when I started thinking of you in … that way, and I’d walked in on Jackson and Noah, I called my brother for advice, and he basically said it was nothing but even if it was something that he wouldn’t care. When I got home a few days ago, he handed me a beer and asked if it was nothing. I didn’t really see a reason to lie to him.”
“How’d he take it?”
“He clinked his beer bottle with mine, clapped my shoulder, and that was that. I didn’t tell him about you, though.”
“What about your parents?”
Talon shakes his head. “Nah. I know them, and they’ll probably pry a little too much or boast a little too loud to people they shouldn’t. They told all their friends when I lost my virginity, like it was some milestone to be proud of as parents. Considering we don’t even know what … this is … there’re too many non-answers.”
I want to ask what this is, but now’s not the time. We have until next season to worry about everything else, and right now, we need to focus on my leg and figuring out how we’re going to work on our own before we drag the rest of the world into our lives.
“Okay, you’re gonna have to tell me where to go, because I got no idea,” Talon says. Perfect timing for an abrupt subject change.
I direct Talon to Manhattan, but as soon as we arrive at my physiotherapist’s, I know bringing Talon is a huge mistake.
Amelia’s eyes light up as we walk in, and I swear cartoonish love hearts beat out of them.
“You’re—”
Talon smiles and points to me. “I’m this one’s bailiff. I’m here to make sure he’s not slacking off, because I really need him next season.”
“You did just fine without him, Mr. Super Bowl Winner,” she practically purrs. Ugh.
If Amelia were ever to go missing and they looked at security footage of her business, I guarantee I’d be a prime suspect with the way I glare at her as she flirts with my man.
My man. Yup. Talon’s mine even if we haven’t defined that yet.
I stalk off in the direction of the physio room where my exercises happen, and they follow me while being all flirty.
“You’re such a great friend to be here for Miller,” Amelia says.
“I really am.”
I roll my eyes so hard I see brain.
“We’ll have you on the floor, Miller,” Amelia says, and I don’t even need to look at Talon to know he’s waggling his eyebrows at me.
The whole time Amelia stretches me out on the mats, she barely takes her eyes off Talon, and I get it. Hell, I wanna be looking at him the whole time too. And I should be used to this by now. No matter where we’d go, whether it be in college or even during training camp at the beginning of the season, women flocked to Talon because he’s a godlike figure in football, and he’s always been naturally charismatic.
If this thing with us does go anywhere, we’re gonna have to talk about that, because while I’ve been fine with sharing him in the past, he was never really mine to share. Everything is different now, and the dynamic is still unknown to me.
Talon says he hasn’t hooked up with anyone since we started fooling around, but he also hasn’t brought up whether or not he expects us to go back to the way things were between us.
Maybe he wants one of those open relationships where someone’s invited into our bedroom whenever he feels like more. Maybe he doesn’t want an actual relationship at all.
We need to talk about it and set limits and tell each other what we expect out of this, but how do I bring that up? Especially without sounding like a psycho clinger.