What happens if I’m only interested in him because of the feeling he gives me—the illusion of safety—and I like him by default?
I glance at Brody out the corner of my eye, and I immediately know that’s not true. I’ve been attracted to him from the beginning but never thought it would be possible to be with him.
That doesn’t change the many what-ifs and uncertainties. It’s hard for me to believe everything’s going to be roses just because we agreed to communicate better.
So instead, I go for the oldest trick in the book. “Imagine how much time you’ll have if you stopped chasing after every guy who says no to you?”
Brody’s lips quirk. “I might need some aloe for that burn, but I’ll have you know, you’re the only guy who’s ever turned me down.”
“Bullshit.”
A blinding grin takes over Brody’s immaculate face, and yeah, I guess I can see how no one would ever say no to him.
“True story.”
“Not gonna lie, that makes me hate you a little bit.”
He kisses the top of my head. “I’m all right with that.”
14
Brody
Anders’ therapist advised refraining from anything physical until he can handle it, and I guess it’s up to him and her to come to that conclusion.
Which means, essentially, we’ve been put back into roommate mode.
When I arrive home from work on Monday, I find him in the kitchen.
“Hey,” I say, and I’m greeted with a smile—no flinching.
Yes. I mentally high-five myself.
“Hi.” Anders’ voice is breathy and sexy. Damn him.
I need to let Anders lead this, so it’s hard to stop myself from greeting him how I want to—with our bodies pressed together and him gasping for breath … but in the good way, not the panicky way.
“I made you dinner.”
“No burns this time?” I ask.
“Do I get a gold star if there isn’t?”
“An imaginary one, sure.”
Anders pouts and holds up his finger. “The oven bit me.”
I eye the angry red mark on his index finger. “You’re hopeless, you know that?”
“I do know.”
I approach and take his hand in mine, inspecting the burn. “Maybe you shouldn’t cook.”
The urge to kiss his finger better almost has me lifting his hand to my mouth, but I have to remind myself that Anders needs to make the first move.
“I really shouldn’t. I kinda suck at it. Both Law and I do.”
I cock my head. “How did you never learn to cook?”
“Our mother is the worst. She’s the type of mum who doesn’t want her babies to leave the nest, so she never taught us to fend for ourselves.”
A laugh escapes, and I drop his hand. “You’ll live.”
“No emergency trip to the doctor this time?”
“No, you’re good.”
“Okay, but if I die overnight from infection, it’ll be on your head.”
Maybe I’ll have to stay with you all night is on the tip of my tongue, but fuck, I can’t.
Yep. Abstinence is going to be even harder than I thought.
“Tomorrow I can bring home food for us if you’re going to continue to eat late.”
Anders purses his lips. “A decent meal might be a nice change, but I actually don’t mind cooking. I want to learn how to do it properly. Law and my parents treat me as if I can’t look after myself because of my issues, and even if cooking is an insignificant thing, it makes me feel like I’m sticking it to them and their perceptions of me in my own way.”
“I understand.” I understand proving myself more than anyone. “Maybe I could teach you on the weekends. I mean, if you want.”
“You never cook though.”
“I don’t have the time. My mum is the opposite of yours. Taught us how to live on our own so we could do it as soon as possible.”
“That sounds a bit cold.”
I shake my head. “No, trust me. Out of my parents, Mum is as warm as the sun compared to my father.”
“Your father who you work for?”
“It’s a long story that’s full of insecurity about not living up to my father’s expectations. It’s super boring.”
“Give me boring any day.”
“Right. Sorry.”
Anders shrugs. “We all have our hang-ups. Mine just happen to be bigger than most. I wouldn’t mind hearing about yours sometime. A nice dose of normal-people problems is usually good at reminding me that we all have issues.”
I smile. “I’ll tell you over dinner.”
We sit down to eat, and I tell him for a father who was rarely there growing up, he still liked to have a say in his kids’ futures. Advised us on what to study, what to do, and what he thought the best path would be for us.
But of course, it always included law of some type.
I was the only one who went through with it.
Anders seems fascinated by a family dynamic that is the complete opposite to his free-thinking and loving parents who only want what’s best for their children.