Being here with Brody is probably the calmest I’ve ever been around him.
Here, our focus is just on climbing. Okay, and checking each other out. But it’s as if I know that’s all it is, and my nerves are nowhere to be seen.
“Anders?” a voice says from behind me.
It’s deep, kind of familiar, and when I turn, my nerves appear with a vengeance.
“Chris,” I shriek.
Yup, shriek. Chris is a guy I dated almost a year ago now. Funnily enough, he’s probably the only guy in the last five years to be the one to break up with me, because he doesn’t like drama.
I never told him about my past, but maybe he could sense that shit or perhaps it was another one of my hook-ups interrupting our date and throwing a hissy fit that did it.
Either way, it was never going to last with Chris and me. He was my typical kind of target—the kind who’s smaller and meeker. He’s a pretty boy with dark, neat hair and bright eyes. I liked him, but not enough. It’s never enough.
No one has even come close until … My gaze turns back to Brody, and we lock eyes.
He leaps off the damn wall to come down, and I’m not ready.
Shit, I must’ve missed his command that he was about to descend. I scramble to hold on to the rope and almost get pulled off my feet.
Motherfucker.
Chris and the guy he’s with are quick to step in and help, and I’m thankful we don’t have to add broken neck to the list of injuries Brody and I have unintentionally caused each other.
When his feet hit solid ground and he makes his way over to us, I don’t miss the knowing smile on his face.
“Didn’t hear me?”
“Shit. Sorry, no. I was …” I look at Chris. “Distracted. Brody, this is Chris. Chris, Brody.”
“I’ve seen you around here before,” Chris says.
Brody’s cool demeanour never changes, even as he shakes Chris’s hand and asks, “You two used to date or something?”
How’d he know?
“Briefly.” Chris laughs as if the memory of it is a joke. In his defence, my dating life is a bit of a joke. Just not a very funny one. “Very briefly.”
“He kissed Law if I remember correctly,” I point out. Yes, let’s put all the focus on Chris’s faults and not my own. Please.
Chris gasps and backhands my chest. “I was drunk, and you didn’t tell me you had an identical twin.”
“Ah, Steele brother antics,” Brody says. “Wish I’d known you guys while you were pulling all the switcheroo shit.”
My eyes widen and so do Chris’s.
“Never did it with you,” I say quickly. “Promise.” Mainly because he broke up with me before I had a chance to ask Law to end it for me, but that goes unsaid.
Chris eyes me suspiciously but lets it go when he pulls the guy he’s with closer. “This is Rhett.”
Rhett lifts his chin instead of saying hi, and Brody and I mimic his gesture.
“Were you guys finishing up, or do you mind maybe spotting us so we can do a climb together?” Chris asks.
“Return the favour, and we’ve got a deal,” Brody says before I can stop him.
Guess we’re playing nice with my ex.
Does Brody not understand the concept of exes? I mean, he’s friends with Reed, he’s all friendly with mine even though he and I are … well, Brody and I are couch buddies right now. Amazing sex couch buddies.
It’s official. I’m never going to look at our couch the same way again.
But that’s not the point. If Kyle had run into one of my exes in a place like this? He’d put on a macho display of ownership and tell my ex to fuck off.
Brody’s his usual warm self, as if this is all somehow normal for people to do.
I don’t know what that says about him. A few months ago, I would’ve said he was psycho. Now? I think he’s just that genuine.
So, of course, my brain’s immediate thought after that is he doesn’t deserve to be stuck with someone like me.
I shake those thoughts free before they can take root.
One thing I’ve learned about myself throughout therapy is that nearly all my negative thoughts tie into my anxiety. It sucks to be hyper self-aware when I’m trying to throw myself a pity party, but it can be helpful in times like this where even though I believe my thoughts are valid, deep down I know it’s anxiety and pressure disguised as irrationality.
Karen would be so proud.
After we get hooked up to the other guys and they take their positions side by side at the bottom of the climbing wall, Brody leans in closer to me.
“Sorry, was it a mistake saying yes?”
“No, it’s fine,” I say. “I’m just … confused.”
“About what?”
“I don’t know how you do it. Hang out with an ex. It’s weird.”