How did I not know I liked it rough until now?
“Fuck, Anders.”
“Kinda … the … point.”
I want to laugh. I really do. But all I can do is moan louder.
The fuzziness I had last night comes back and lifts me higher and higher until I don’t know what’s coming out my mouth, if anything.
Am I talking? Groaning? Who knows.
The only thing I know is that if Anders were to touch me right now, I’d soar.
Maybe I am speaking out loud, because fingers go to wrap around my cock, but the first jet of cum spills over before Anders can get a full grasp. He strokes me through my orgasm while he keeps fucking me at a tempo I’d barely be able to keep up with if it were me.
“I’m close,” he whispers.
Good. The more he pegs my prostate, the more sensitive my ass becomes as my cock empties onto the bed and my stomach.
Anders finally stills inside me with one last hard thrust.
Apparently, he’s able to recover faster than me. He pulls out, and I wince at the pain returning. Only, it’s not just in my ass. It’s everywhere again, especially in my arms. It’s funny how I couldn’t even feel it until now. Now that I’m coming down, now that I’m not blissed out on Anders’ cock, my muscles ache.
Feels like I’ve done a full workout at the gym.
Anders’ lips land on my shoulder. “Roll back over for me?”
I do as he says, and my arms get some relief.
“You okay for a sec?”
When I nod, Anders climbs out of bed and stumbles towards the bathroom, leaving me wrung out and now feeling a little vulnerable. But he’s back in a few seconds, condom ditched and a wet cloth in his hands. He wipes the bed and my stomach, then leans over to kiss my chest while he cleans me off.
Thick thighs straddle me as Anders reaches for one of my wrists. Warm brown eyes meet mine, and a soft look of awe crosses Anders’ face.
I squirm beneath him, loving the way he’s looking at me but hating that I can’t reach for him and cherish the moment the way I want to.
Anders breaks his gaze first and unties me, taking extra care to kiss the red marks on my wrists from where I fought being restrained.
Lips trail up my arm, and I use my free hand to pull Anders close. Our mouths meet, calm and relaxed, but I feel the moment Anders is no longer lost in me and fighting whatever’s in his head telling him to be on guard.
“Can I stay in here tonight?” he asks. “I’ll go warm up dinner. We can eat it in bed and then go to sleep?”
I want nothing more than to cuddle into his side all night, but when he says “go to sleep,” he says it as if he means him too when we both know it doesn’t.
“I don’t think that’s a good idea.”
“Dinner in bed? Are you one of those ‘this is how we get ants!’ type of people? Law was so annoying about that.”
I can totally see Law being like that. “Nope. I’m okay with dinner in bed. I’m not okay with you not sleeping again. As much as I love having you next to me while I sleep, you need to look after yourself.”
“I slept this morning after you left and napped for an hour after I got home from work. I’ll be fine.”
I cup his face. “That’s not enough sleep.”
“It’s enough for me.”
I already know I’m going to cave, but I want to stay strong. I want to be strong for Anders when he can’t be. I want to look after him when he refuses to do it for himself.
“I promise I’ll sleep in my bed tomorrow night. I don’t want to leave you after …” His thumb runs over my wrist.
“I’m fine,” I assure him. “More than fine.”
He lowers his voice. “You’re stepping out of your comfort zone for me. I want to do the same for you.”
“Dammit. How am I supposed to say no to that?”
“Stay there. I’ll be back with dinner.” He gets up and pulls on his boxers and T-shirt, then throws me my underwear.
A night with a hot guy, eating dinner in bed, falling asleep in his arms … it should make me deliriously happy. Instead, I’m worried how it’s going to affect Anders.
I take a deep breath.
This can’t be a long-term arrangement.
19
Anderson
Best. Sex. Ever.
That’s what I’ve been missing all these years.
It’s my two worlds colliding and making something so fucking good. I need control but to let go at the same time, and Brody gives me that.
I didn’t think it was going to be possible.
I never thought I’d have this again.
But even with those things, I still can’t sleep next to him.