This is just another puzzle piece that makes up the raw beauty that is Anders, and I’m not giving up that easily.
No matter what he throws at me.
“I have to go.” I check my pocket to make sure I still have my keys and then head for the door before my father or sister can stop me.
If I know Anders as well as I think I do, there’s only one place he’d be going.
Law’s.
* * *
Reed answers the door with a knowing look on his face. His usual boy-next-door charm is missing, only to be replaced with anger on behalf of Anders. I can’t really blame him.
His blue eyes appear stormy, and if I didn’t know him any better, I’d be inclined to back away from him because he looks scary. Reed might be shorter than me, but he’s stocky.
“I didn’t know,” I say.
The angry line in Reed’s forehead eases a tiny bit but doesn’t go away completely. “Didn’t know what?”
“Anders told me he was assaulted, but he didn’t tell me by who or much of anything to do with it. I didn’t know until …”
“Until?”
“Tonight. I looked up the court files.”
“Brody—”
“Can I please see him? I need to tell him this doesn’t change anything.”
Reed’s lips form into a thin line. “Your dad defended the guy who tried to kill him. You really think you can be roommates after that?”
“That was my dad, not me. And I don’t want to be just roommates—” My mouth slams shut.
Reed switches from anger to disappointment. “What did you do?”
“Nothing!”
He doesn’t believe me.
“Okay, not nothing.”
“What part of off limits don’t you understand?”
“The part where it came from you, not Anders. It’s not like we meant for something to happen. It just … did.”
“Law’s going to kill you.”
“Good for him. I look forward to it. Right now I only care about talking to Anders. Can I please come in?”
Reed steps aside. “You can come in.” He closes the door behind me and blocks my exit. “But Anders isn’t here.”
“Where is he?”
“Out with Law.”
“Where?”
Reed averts his gaze.
“Please? I have to talk to him. I have to let him know I don’t care he lied or why he lied or any of that. I need to make sure he’s okay.”
“Brody …” Sympathy shines in Reed’s eyes. “You fell for him, didn’t you?”
“No. Yes? I’m in the middle of falling for him, and I don’t want this to come between us.”
“That’s a lot of pressure to put on Anders. His anxiety, his PTSD? It’s all connected to that one incident that happened to him. How do you think he’ll feel if you two started dating and he had to sit across from your dad at the dinner table?”
Okay, so that presents a problem I didn’t consider, but I don’t care because I’ll work around it. I have to make this work.
“So, we don’t have dinner with my dad. It’s pretty simple. He rarely has anything to do with my personal life anyway.”
Reed frowns. “You’re willing to disown your own father for him?”
“Well, no, but I mean, I see Dad at work and have Anders at home. They don’t have to see each other.”
“And if you get married? Have kids?”
“Whoa, jumping the gun there. We’re just spending time together. That’s all.” And I want more of that.
“For now. You must know relationships have a progression. I don’t see Anders marrying anyone who will remind him of his old life.”
“What would you know? You barely know him.”
“I practically lived with him for six months before Law and I moved in here. You’re both like family to me, so this isn’t picking sides. You need to back off, Brody. If Anders can’t handle whatever you two have going on, you need to be the one to step back.”
“I don’t want to,” I say softly.
“Brod—”
“You don’t understand. Anders and I have …” Okay, I don’t know what we have. “Something inexplicable. I’m the first guy in five years he’s come close to trusting. I’m the only one he’s told about what happened to him—”
“Yet, he didn’t tell you everything. Look, I’m not speaking for Anders—he needs to learn how to do that for himself—but all I’m saying is if you push him when he’s not ready, you’ll lose him.”
“So I’m supposed to leave? Do nothing and let him come to me?”
I can’t do that. It’s not in my nature. I go for what I want, and Anders is definitely something I want. Even the thought of losing what we have has a need to make everything okay rise up inside me.
“If you want any chance with him, yes. Let him come back to you.”
“Can you at least tell me if he’s okay?”
Reed shakes his head. “I honestly don’t know. I’ve seen him after a panic attack but have never seen him in the middle of one. I didn’t know how to handle him. He looked distant and nothing like the Anders I know.”