Everyone at the table is silent, but I know it won’t last.
“You Noah’d him, didn’t you?” Skylar says.
“Did you just use my name as a verb?”
“Yes,” she says. “It means to act without considering the consequences. There’s going to be sides taken and we have to be conscious of who we invite where and worry about offending someone, and—”
“No,” I say. “If he can’t get over it, cut me out. I’m the one who ended it, so it’s my fault. Maybe coming tonight with Matt wasn’t the best idea.”
“Ya think?” Rebecca says and turns to Matt. “I hope you know what you’re getting into.”
Matt doesn’t answer her.
I sip my beer again and do what I do best: pretend their words don’t get to me. I know I fucked up. I act without thinking about how things will end, but it’s not like I plan to do this shit. It comes naturally.
Skylar and Rebecca stare at Damon and Maddox as if having a silent conversation. Matt’s gaze is fixated on me, but I refuse to acknowledge him.
A waiter takes our break in conversation as the perfect time to approach Matt and ask for an autograph.
Matt does it without hesitance, but Damon doesn’t stand for it. He waves the waiter over once he has Matt’s signature. “Tell your manager and the rest of the waitstaff that if you can prevent anyone from approaching Matt while we’re here, he’ll sign something for everyone on duty.”
The kid’s eyes widen. “Of course.”
With a promise of a whole heap of signed merchandise, the waiter leaves us to our drinks and then circles us like a shark to prevent anyone else approaching.
“I don’t think espionage is in that guy’s future,” I say.
“Yeah, he’s about as subtle as you and Aron,” Rebecca says.
“We’re still on this?” I ask. “I’ll back off. I hoped with the whole Matt thing he would’ve moved on by now. I won’t come to anything else until he gets over it. How about that?”
“That’s not what we want,” Skylar says.
“Then what do you want? Because short of a time machine to make me go back and tell past me not to go there with him, I’m all out of ideas.”
“This is why hooking up with friends is a bad idea,” Rebecca says.
“No shit,” I mumble and look at Matt. “You’ve gone quiet.”
He shrugs. “Don’t think it’s my place to say anything. It’s between you and your ex.”
Rebecca smiles. “Matt’s way too mature for you.”
“Probably true,” I say. He’s too everything for me. When he’s not angry over being screwed by the Bulldogs, he’s down to earth, fun, and damn, he’s driven. Honestly, if it were me who got fired for being gay—he can say all he wants about it being about not being a team player, but the truth is he lost everything because of those photos that outed him—I would’ve ran away with my tail between my legs and hid out until everyone forgot who I was. Matt’s optimistic and trying to find his way back into a world that doesn’t want him, all because he’s so passionate about football that he feels like his life is over if he can’t play it.
I’ve never been that passionate about anything. Ever. And until now, I didn’t realize I was missing out.
The others finally move off the topic of my shortcomings, but Matt still eyes me.
“You okay?” he asks.
“Of course. I’m always okay.” I hate that I’ve known the guy a week and he already has a I call bullshit face he can pull at me. And that he’s right. “Wanna go home? You’re heading back to Philly early in the morning.”
“If that’s what you want.”
I stand immediately. “We’re out, guys. Maybe you can message Aron and Wyatt to come back.”
“And so it starts,” Rebecca says.
“Nah, here’s where it ends,” I say and turn to Matt. “You should go sign all that crap you promised before we head out.”
I follow him to the bar and wait for him off to the side while he talks with the staff. The joys of being with a football player. I pity the women who have to do this permanently.
Damon appears next to me out of nowhere, and I flinch when he starts talking, as if preparing for a lecture. “Aron will get over it.”
Not as bad as I thought. I relax a little. “I know he will. There’s not much to get over.”
He narrows his eyes. “Was that a dig at yourself or the relationship?”
“Both, I guess. Aron and I were never suited. We were bored. I shouldn’t have crossed that line with him.”
“Like you shouldn’t with Matt. It’s business.”
“I know. In a few months, we won’t ever see each other again.”
“Might be sooner than that.”
I pull back. “How soon?”
“Don’t tell Matt, but I called my office today to check in. Apparently, there’s a couple of teams taking calls about him. Nothing solid yet though, so don’t get his hopes up. I should warn you, the closest one is in the Midwest. If you did start something, it’d be long distance, and as we’ve established, you can’t even handle a relationship when you’re in the same room.”