Fake Out (Fake Boyfriend 1)

The closest I got was asking him to visit me in summer housing while I interned at a marketing firm over the break. He flat-out said no. Said we had fun, I was a great roommate, and he’d miss me the next year. It was like we broke up, even though we weren’t in a relationship. It was weird but not as confusing as the disappointment I had over him ending it.

Before I started my internship in the city, I went home for two nights and ended up spilling everything to Will.

A bottle of tequila later, we decided to test a theory. We went to a bar, and I watched every guy that entered. I wasn’t attracted to any of them. But every time I thought of Matt, my cock hardened in response.

Will, the rationalizing genius he is, came to the conclusion that it was something about my conscience not wanting to have been a complete jerk to Chastity and my explorations with a guy was my way of making my lie a half-truth. I thought that was bullshit, but it made for an excuse to dismiss the Matt situation. I chalked it up to college experimenting and let it go.

This weekend has brought it all back—how I wanted to ask Matt for more but didn’t have the courage. I want to ask Damon for more.

I didn’t think I’d be attracted to my fake boyfriend. I haven’t thought about Matt or another guy this way since junior year when he was drafted to the NFL.

“You okay?” Damon asks. “You’ve gone silent on me.”

“Just thinking,” I murmured.

“What happened with the roommate in the end?”

“Sophomore year, he moved out of the frat house and into the dorms, so I barely saw him. He was around campus occasionally, but we weren’t friends. I was half-convinced he hid from me for a year.”

“Wait, he was in a frat? That’d be enough for any guy to stay closeted. I had a hard enough time coming out to my teammates. They ended up being cool with it, but I wouldn’t have liked to have thrown in a frat on top of that.”

“My point in telling you all this is I put it down to experimenting, because since then, I haven’t been attracted to another guy.” I suck in a sharp breath. “Until you.”

Damon stares at me, his green eyes seeing through me, and that vulnerability I have around him seeps back in. “So, you’re bi.”

I pull back. “Huh?”

“Did you not hear my defining criteria? Attracted to both male and females. And I’m pretty sure I’m still a guy. I can go check in case it’s changed in the last few hours, but—”

I shove him. “Shut up. I’ve been attracted to two guys but countless women, so—”

“It’s not a fifty-fifty thing. I know a heap of people who have mostly hetero relationships but identify as bi. For some, it’s easy to meet others of the opposite sex. A friend from college only hooks up with men because he says it’s easier than having to woo a woman. Those are his words, by the way, not mine. I have no idea what it would take to get a woman into bed. I’ve never tried.”

I purse my lips. “Okay, so I’m bi.” It doesn’t sound right on my tongue. “But I’ve kissed one guy and gotten blowjobs from another. I kinda feel unqualified for the label.”

“What are straight people labeled as if they’ve never kissed another person? They’re still straight.”

I’ve never thought about it that way. “Interesting.”

Damon continues to study me, as if waiting for me to break down over it. “You okay?”

I have to think about it, because I don’t think it’s sunk in. Am I supposed to feel different?

“I think so. But I want to kiss you again.” I hold my breath. When he doesn’t reply immediately, I joke, “You know … for scientific purposes.”

Damon breaks his gaze and stares at the fire. That can’t be good. “Sorry, man. Don’t think that’s gonna happen.”

“Why not?” I frown.

“Not into being used as an experimental thing. Been there, done that, have the broken heart to show for it. Not to get all emo on you or anything.”

“It’s not entirely about experimenting—I … I think I actually like you.” God, I sound twelve years old. “But it’s cool. I’m used to being rejected by you Kings.” I smile to cover my slightly dented ego.

Damon winces. “Can you please stop bringing up your crush on my sister? It weirds me out that the guy I kissed a few hours ago had a thing for her. I don’t share guys with Stacy. When I came out, she was worried I’d cut in on her action. I tried to explain to her that wouldn’t happen because, generally, guys who are interested in me wouldn’t be interested in her, but you’ve proved me wrong. So, thanks for that. No way in hell am I going to tell her she was right.”