“I’m not really into kink.” That doesn’t stop him from lifting his hands or me from tying him to my headboard.
“Calm down. It’s just a little bondage. I promise not to spank you or make you call me sir.”
He snorts.
“It’s loose so you can easily get out if you want to. It’s more a mind over matter thing. You’re not the one who’s going to be doing the touching, so anything that happens here will be all on me. It’ll be everything I want to do.”
My eyes meet his, and I freeze. It’s an odd moment to have an epiphany-like event. But being this close, me on top of a half-naked Damon, our mouths inches apart, and sharing the same breath, I finally get it. I don’t give a shit about labels, because I don’t need to. All I need to care about is making this guy mine.
The possessiveness takes me off guard, because I’ve never had that with anyone. I don’t even know if the feeling is temporary or long-term. The only thing keeping my mouth glued shut is the fear it will go away. I don’t want it to. All I know is, I’ve never wanted anyone more, and if he makes me chase him for months like his sister did, I’d do it. And I wouldn’t give up this time, because it’s different with Damon. This isn’t about sex. If it was, I would’ve ditched Damon as soon as I found out about his issues and hooked up with Noah instead. Or a chick. I wouldn’t be willing to tie Damon to a bed just so he’d let me touch him. I wouldn’t care to work through the shit going on in his head.
My epiphany might be insignificant to most people, but Maddox O’Shay realizing he wants to try a relationship? Better call NASA, because I’m sure an asteroid is headed for Earth.
“You okay?” Damon whispers.
I’m frozen on top of him. “I don’t know,” I say truthfully. I’m not going to start spouting random I-want-you-so-fucking-bad speeches.
When he struggles against his restraints, I reach up and wrap my hand around his wrists to stop him before he freaks out.
“Let me finish. I don’t know, because I have no fucking clue where to start. There are so many dirty images running through my head right now, and I want to do all of them.”
He relaxes and that easy grin of his takes over. “That’s simple. I want you to kiss me. So start there.”
Our mouths come together, and even though I’m the one on top, and he’s tied to the bed, Damon’s the one in control.
The kiss we shared at Chastity’s wedding is a blur now. I don’t remember if he tasted like he does now—warm with a hint of beer on his breath. I don’t remember the stubble around his lips. The adrenaline pumping through me wore off and took my exact memories with it. And earlier tonight was frantic—the pent-up tension from the last month releasing itself in the moment. This time, I’m going to savor it.
Damon has other ideas. His hips roll and lift off the bed, grinding against me.
“Someone’s impatient,” I say.
“Yeah, well, someone else has already gotten off tonight. Maybe he’s not impatient because he hasn’t been hard for hours.”
“Hours … really? It’s been like two. There are starving kids in Africa.”
“What does that have to do with anything?” Damon asks.
“Isn’t that what you measure everything against? It was my sister’s comeback for everything. If I complained of being cold, she’d say—yeah, well, there are starving kids in Africa. Meaning, there are always people worse off than you.”
“I dunno. Pretty sure you can die from blue balls.”
“Pretty sure you’re lying,” I say.
“Fine. It just feels like I’m dying.” He rolls his hips again. His cock rubs against mine, and fuck, he is hard. Impossibly hard.
“Guess I have some work to do then.” My lips drop to his shoulder, and I pepper light kisses down his chest.
Foreplay for me has always been just that—a way to get a girl ready so I could fuck her. And as selfish as it is, if she got off while I went down on her, it meant I didn’t have to work as hard while fucking her. Yeah, I’m a real catch. It’s not that I didn’t enjoy the foreplay, but more it was a means to get to where I needed to go. With Damon, I want this. I’m enjoying his shortness of breath and his moans as I kiss his skin. I like exploring his hardened body, because I’ve never experienced it before. It’s new and exciting and hotter than I ever anticipated.
The only downside to this is I feel like a teenager again. My hands tremble, and insecurities about not knowing what the fuck I’m doing seep in.