She talks louder. “Everyone watches porn. It’s perfectly natural.”
“I hate you.” I stuff my laptop into my bag and hurry to get away from her.
“That could be the sweetest thing you’ve ever said.”
When Ray pushed the idea of porn on me, I’d been completely content to ignore her suggestion and walk around campus. The early October weather is already cold, and it won’t be long until it’s time for bulky sweaters and jackets again.
People watching always settles my anxiety and awakens the curiosity that overrides all other thoughts, but unlike most days, people aren’t catching my attention.
Instead, my thoughts keep straying to Foster and how he kissed me. It makes me lightheaded, though that could simply be because all the blood is running south. I’m tempted to seek him out, but I’m not sure where things stand after last night, and seeing him again while I’m in this state wouldn’t be my best idea. I wasn’t lying when I told Ray I wanted to be prepared.
Make it last.
I shiver but refuse to think too deeply about the words. There’s a long time for things to change, and I will not give up my TA position to be with him. No matter how tempting he is, or how hard his shoulders are, or how soft his lips are …
Porn. Right.
My stupid hands are shaking again as I swipe my way into Albany Hall, and I blush as I pass people on the way to the elevator. I’m convinced they know the filthy thoughts taking over my mind, but I can’t seem to make them stop. All it takes is a quick flash of Foster grinding on top of me and I have to bite my lip to get my dick to calm down.
I don’t even make it so far as porn. As soon as my door is locked behind me, I fall back into it, take myself out, and it’s over in an embarrassingly short time. When I wash my hands, I can barely look myself in the eye. I’m appalled at how quickly I lose myself over him. He said himself that he’d been with a lot of people, so if anything ever happens between us, I have a lot to live up to.
As for him, well, he only needs to look at me sideways and I’m panting.
Dear god, research don’t fail me now.
I grab my laptop, and after hesitating a moment between my desk and the bed, I finally settle on the bed. Might as well get comfortable.
It’s not like I’ve never done this before, but porn is usually reserved for when I’m so needy I can ignore the terrible dialogue and weird sounds.
“Ooh yeah, baby, like that—”
I cringe and quickly click across to the next video. Nope, too hairy. Room too dirty. The next guy has glasses like mine which are definitely not sexy—Foster took mine off last night for a reason—and in the next … could he really not take the time to wash his feet first?
This isn’t working. I start to laugh into my cupped hands as the rhythmic sound of slapping and grunting jolts from my laptop speakers. Maybe I shouldn’t have relieved myself first? I test out that theory by remembering Foster lying right here on top of me, and my dick automatically twitches.
Okay, jerking off isn’t the issue.
I glance at the search bar and start typing before I’ve even fully formed the thought.
Hockey player.
There is a wealth of choices. Of course there is, because I’m beginning to suspect hockey is the sexiest sport on earth. I find one with both men in full uniform up against lockers in a locker room.
Yes, please.
It’s not hard to imagine the black and orange uniforms as navy and silver, and there’s no preamble as the guy behind enters the one in front. My dick finally takes interest. Instead of the two of them, I’m picturing Foster behind me while I lean into the locker wearing his jersey.
I mean, I’m assuming he’d be behind me. The thought of me taking control of sex with him makes me ridiculously uncomfortable. I want Foster to hold me tight and pant in my ear and get completely lost in my body.
“Fuck …” I mutter, shoving my hand down my pants.
There’s no discernable talking but one of them is muttering under his breath, which possibly makes it hotter. It’s like these two don’t care the camera’s there because they’re too involved in each other.
The guy behind turns the other man’s face to kiss him and speeds up his thrusts. My limbs start to tingle, and I quickly shove down my pants, ready for round two. But as the laptop slips away and my eyes fall closed, I’m reliving the suffocating way Foster kissed me and how it made me feel needed. I groan, and my cock starts to pulse as I come again.