“So, what … you’re in the relationship, getting attached, knowing that it’s going to end?”
“Yes.”
“That’s …” He shakes his head. “So unlike you. How are you okay with that?”
I shrug. “I really like him. I like spending time with him. It doesn’t make sense to me to lose all that prematurely.”
Seth’s still confused. I can’t explain it wholly, all I know is that no matter what happens now, Foster is finally free of the secret he’s been holding onto for so long. That won’t change if we break up, and I’m legitimately happy for him. I already know that this time next year I’m unlikely to have him anymore, so I’m determined to take all I can before we have to move on.
I’m trying to be logical about this.
It makes me feel sick.
“No matter what,” I say, sinking down onto the mattress and trying to get comfortable, “things between you and me won’t be affected. You’re separate people. If Foster and I break up, we stay strong.”
“Good.” He switches off his lamp.
The darkness is peaceful, but no matter what I do, I can’t get comfortable. I’ve slept on this same mattress more times than I can count—every holiday besides Christmas and all summer—and I’ve never had an issue with it before.
It’s like my body knows how close Foster is and refuses to accept anything but being curled up beside him.
“You’re really gonna stay in here, huh?” Seth asks.
“Yes. Foster coming out doesn’t change things. I told you I was spending time with you this weekend.”
“And I’m holding you to it. Thing is, if I’m taking up your time during the day, wouldn’t it make sense that you’re with him at night?”
Those are all excellent points. But Foster was so damn cocky I’d end up in his room, it’s almost a matter of pride now. No matter how desperately I want to sneak in there.
A pillow hits my face.
“What on earth?”
“I can hear you thinking about him, and I don’t want those kinds of thoughts in my room.”
“I’m not … thinking about that.”
“There’s a delicate balance. You’re messing with it. I think you should leave. Now.”
“Seth—”
“And you snore. It’s terrible. Please go and subject Foster to that shit.”
“I snore?”
“Bad.”
It takes all my self-control not to laugh. “And after three years of sharing a dorm you’re only now mentioning it?”
“I tried. You could never hear me over the minor earthquake shaking our room.”
“You’re unbelievable.” I laugh but kick out from under the covers. I really don’t need much convincing. “I guess I should go keep Foster up all night then.”
“Gross.”
“With my snoring. Obviously.”
“Obviously.” He groans. “For the sake of my sanity, keep it the fuck down.”
“You wanted this.” I creep to the door and crack it open. “Anything you overhear is on you.”
Another pillow hits my back before I duck out into the hall. Seth doesn’t need to worry though. There is no way I’m doing anything sexual while Foster’s parents are downstairs. I can barely look his dorm neighbors in the eye thinking they’ve heard us.
I hesitate right outside Foster’s door, knowing that I’ll never hear the end of this.
Then again, being able to touch him seems like a fair trade.
I’ve barely opened the door when Foster speaks.
“Took you long enough.”
I smile in the dark at his cockiness. “Tell the truth. You were beginning to worry, weren’t you?”
“That you could resist me?” He snorts. “Please.”
“I can turn around and walk right back out.”
“Go for it.”
His tone is so confident, I wish I could. I really want to prove that he’s not as irresistible as he thinks he is.
Except there’s one problem.
He most certainly is.
“Damn it,” I whisper.
Foster laughs as I creep closer to the bed, but I have no clue where I’m going. His phone light suddenly cuts through the darkness and my steps pull up short. He’s sitting up in bed, shirtless, and the shadows are making his abs even more defined than usual.
“Are we admitting I win then?” His smile lights up the room brighter than his phone.
“Was there ever a doubt?”
“Never. But I still want a prize.”
“Nuh-uh. No sex stuff in your parents’ house.”
“That’s okay.” His gaze tracks down my body, making my resolve falter. “But my bed has one rule.”
“If you say naked—”
“You’ve gotta be naked.” He sounds regretful. “Sorry, Zach. I don’t make the rules.”
I lift my eyebrows. “Must be such a pain to enforce.”
“Why don’t you come in here and find out.”
I try to shake my head, but the movement is jerky and stiff. “There’s no way I can be naked around you.”
“Zach.” Foster gasps. “I never took you for a rule breaker. Wow. My boyfriend is such a rebel.”
“And mine is an idiot,” I deadpan. But I reach for the hem of my shirt and pull it off as slowly as I can. His heated stare is so hot I’m already tenting my briefs before I peel those off too.