Thorned Heart (Cash Me Outside 2)

I’m always so good at hiding my feelings—or I thought so—but the fact he can read me when I don’t want him to makes me edgy.

I’m scared he can see everything. How much I pine for him. Ache for his touch. The amount of times I’ve imagined what his mouth tastes like and what it would feel like to sink inside his body.

“I …” My lips close together. Then open. I don’t know what to say. I don’t know what I can say.

Seb nods. “Yep. That’s what I thought. And now I’m taking a risk. A big fucking risk, because, Thorne?”

“Mm?”

“I want to be right about this so damn bad.”

He is. About everything.

“Seb—”

He moves closer, sucking all the air out from the entire state of Montana. Then his strong mouth is on mine, and all I can do is let it happen because I am not in control right now. Nowhere near it. My brain screams at me to stop it, but my heart is screaming louder to seize this moment. It might be the only moment we get.

Seb’s tongue parts my lips, and as I open for him, he groans and pulls me against him.

Seb is kissing me.

Sebastian Rose is kissing Thorne Young.

Nope. There is no way this is happening.

There are too many layers of clothing. Too much bulk surrounding us. I want to put my hands inside his jacket and run my hands over the chest and abs I watch onstage. I want my mouth to explore more than just his tongue and the scruff around his lips. I need to feel the rough scrape of his beard all over me. But I also need to stop this.

I need to stop the shooting sparks of lust coursing through me.

I need … fuck, I need Seb. More than I ever have before.

He smells like smoke but tastes like forever.

And holy fuck does he know how to kiss.

Shit, what are we doing?

He moans into my mouth, and I realize I don’t care what we’re doing, what we’re screwing up, or what an awkward you’re fired conversation will come afterward, I don’t want him to stop.

But I have to.

I pull away but can’t bring myself to let go of him. “You’re here with someone else.”

“Not anymore. I told him he needs to go home.”

My eyes widen. “You did what?”

“I want you. I went searching for my perfect man in the wrong place, but Lemon wasn’t a complete waste. He made me realize what I have right in front of me.”

I want to believe him. More than anything, I want the words spewing from his mouth to be the truth, but I’m scared he only likes the idea of me.

“We should think about this,” I say.

“I don’t need to. I know what I want.”

I force myself to step away from him. “And since when have you known? When we got on a plane less than twenty-four hours ago, you said you wanted to make it work with a stripper.”

“That was before.”

“Before what?” The edge in my voice gives away how much I don’t want to fight this. I want to give myself over to him more than anything, but not at the expense of my heart and my career.

“Before I knew you were even a possibility. How long?”

“How long, what?”

“Have you been into guys?”

I fold my arms across my chest. “I’m bi. Always have been. It’s what made me fight to become your manager. I knew you and Cash were out, and I wanted to represent you guys so there wouldn’t be any queer erasure going on.”

“And you didn’t think you should tell us that?”

I avert my gaze because keeping it a secret has been hard, but it’s also been a necessity. “I didn’t want any complications …”

“Meaning?”

“I didn’t want the possibility of either you or Cash getting bored on tour and messing with me. My job is important, and I wouldn’t piss it away for a quick fuck with a client.”

Seb inches closer, closing the gap I’m trying to keep between us. “And if I kissed you again, what would that be? Would that classify as messing with you?”

I lick my lips, still tasting him there, and at this point, I don’t care if he’s messing with me because I want to kiss him again.

“It depends,” I hedge. “Are you kissing me for the right reasons?”

“What are the right reasons?”

“That you want me for more than a fuck. That you’re willing to put my job, the band’s reputation, and everything on the line for it? Because that’s what you’ll be doing. This thing between us, it can’t be temporary, and it can’t be an experiment to see if you can hold a relationship. I can’t be what you wanted Lemon to be. It needs to be real.”

Seb hesitates. “That’s a lot of pressure.”