Goal Lines & First Times (CU Hockey 3)

“I know. I had a question about that, actually. That’s the ace flag, isn’t it?” I point without touching her.

“Yep.”

“What’s the heart?”

“Aro or aromantic. So I don’t feel any romantic feelings toward anyone either.”

“Oh, cool.”

“So, you can move along now, jock.”

My gaze flies from her tattoo to her face. “What?”

“You’ve got, like, no chance.”

“Wow, and people say hockey players have an ego. I actually want to know more about the whole ace thing, but if you don’t want to tell me …”

She narrows her eyes, and okay, I can kind of see how she might think it’s a line, but it’s totally not.

“I’m talking with someone online,” I say. “And they think they could be demi. Which is also ace, right? I’ve googled and stuff, but I still don’t think I understand it completely, and they’re still figuring it out for themselves, so I don’t want to ask them a billion questions and accidentally offend them.”

And yes, I am purposefully avoiding pronouns.

Just like that, a switch flips, and she’s not so standoffish anymore. Well, she’s still standoffish, but her face is no longer telling me to fuck off with a simple look. “What did you want to know?”

“I guess … I really want to meet them in person, but … what if the connection isn’t strong enough from their side?”

“What if you meet someone tomorrow and you think it’s love at first sight, but they say I only want to be friends?”

“Okay. But what if they say they feel that connection but still aren’t … sexually attracted to me. Could that ever change?”

“With someone like me? Never. Someone who’s demi, it’s possible, but you can’t force it or push it or try to make it something it’s not. If that happens, might I suggest not saying any of the following: we just need to try other positions. It’s not my fault you’re broken. And an oldy but a goody, how about we spice it up with kinky things.”

My eyes widen. “Did someone actually say that to you?”

“High school boyfriend. Fun times.”

“I’m sorry.”

She eyes me for a second. “My suggestion is to wait until they think they’re ready to meet. Maybe they’ll feel it and maybe they won’t, but you run that risk with meeting anyone off the internet.”

“True.”

“And, if they don’t feel it, you need to be okay walking away. I don’t think it’s fair to stay in a relationship with someone waiting for them to want sex when that might not happen.”

I let out a sigh. It’s not really the answer I wanted, but it makes sense. If I want even a chance at something with Einstein, it needs to be on his time.

I already knew that, but hearing it from another asexual person cements it even further.

“Thanks for the chat.”

“Thanks for not hitting on me!”

I laugh. “You’re welcome.”

I am so done for the night. It wasn’t a long stay, but it’s better than hanging by the phone in bed waiting for texts to pour in which I was really tempted to do.

As I reach the kitchen heading for the front door, a very drunk Beck hugs Seth. “Grant! You came back for us!”

“And I’m out,” Seth says and starts walking the same way I do.

We reach outside at the same time and hover on the front stoop. I turn to him. “I think I have to agree with you. That costume was a poor choice. You look like Foster to me, and I’m not even drunk.”

Seth’s lips part as he takes in my costume, and I wait for him to mock it, but he doesn’t. “This was a last-minute thing, so I didn’t have much of a choice.”

“Fair enough. Have a good night.”

“Yeah … you too.”

I go to walk off when his voice stops me.

“Leaving already? That’s so … unlike Foster’s friends.”

“I think I’m getting too old for this scene.”

He rolls his eyes. “Because twenty-one is so old.”

“I’m twenty-four. I spent my time after high school playing for the juniors trying to get drafted.”

“Ah. Foster wanted to do that, but Mom and Dad demanded he get an education before chasing the NHL.”

“Worked out for him. For me, not so much.” I tip my head. “Night.”

“Yeah. Night.” He goes to the curb and taps away on his phone, presumably to order an Uber. I cut across campus to go to the jock building.

I can’t even wait until I’m in bed to message Einstein, and as I type Have a good night? A message pops up from him.

Einstein: You know how we talked about baby steps? Want to take one with me tonight?

8

Seth

I wasn’t in the mood for drinking at the party, and I’m suddenly very grateful for that fact. I’m in my car and headed home when Richie’s reply comes in. It takes all my willpower to stick to the speed limit.