“I have enough of those things to keep a psychologist in business for years.” And despite his words, he’s smiling as he wraps his leg around mine under the table.
“Wanna tell me any of it?”
“Are you going to use it against me?”
I give him a dry look. “Maybe when this is over, we go back to antagonizing each other, who knows? But I think we’re way past the high school bullshit, don’t you?”
“It only took us three years.”
“And multiple orgasms.”
He laughs. “And hopefully many more.” He lifts his drink like a toast, and I knock my glass against his.
“Many, many more.”
We take a drink, and as I lean back against the booth, I give in to my urge from earlier and set my hand on his thigh. We’re far enough away from campus that I don’t have to worry about being seen. No one’s bothering us even though we’re not being subtle about being here together. Some of my tension eases.
“So what are your plans after we graduate?” I ask.
“You’re full of questions tonight, aren’t you?”
“And you’re full of diversion tactics.”
His lips twitch. I want to kiss him again. “I think I’ve talked about myself enough.”
“You’ve told me one thing.”
“It’s more than I was planning.”
“Beck …”
“Look, my future is pretty much set, that’s why I don’t talk about it. All it does is depress me, and I prefer to focus on the fun things.”
“I’m guessing that future doesn’t include hockey.”
“No.” He hesitates. “I know for you and Grant hockey means a lot, but I can’t think that way.”
“So you dick around?”
“Exactly.” Beck’s voice dips a little lower. “There’s no point taking things seriously and getting attached when I know in a year, I’ll have to give it all up anyway.”
I shake my head. “I don’t understand.”
His hand briefly squeezes mine. “Does your family expect you to take over the farm one day?”
I frown at the sudden subject change, but I let it happen. I want to see where he’s going with this. “To them, it would probably be ideal. It’s expected one of us will, but luckily, I have three younger brothers and Tony already works on the farm full-time. He didn’t even apply to college. He’s been learning the management side of things since he left high school.”
“Now imagine you had no brothers.”
It becomes clear really fast what he’s getting at. “Okay, yeah. If I had no brothers, I’d feel obligated to take over. That farm has been in our family for generations. I wouldn’t be able to sell it.”
“Now imagine the farm is the business world, and you’re looking at my future. My father never even asked if I wanted it, you know? It’s expected. And it sucks.”
“What about Baby?”
“She is lacking the very thing every businessman needs according to our father.”
“Business sense?”
Beck scoffs. “A penis. She’s ten times smarter than I am, but he doesn’t want to hear it.”
“That’s …”
“You’re allowed to say it. It’s toxic masculinity at its finest. Women can’t be CEOs. They can’t be anything but pretty housewives.”
Our dinner comes out, and we have to separate briefly to eat, but we don’t stop talking. It’s surprisingly easy when we’re not at each other’s throats … or filling each other’s throats.
Beck seems determined to drive the conversation away from his home life, but I manage to get little pieces out of him.
It sucks that after this year, hockey’s over for him. And it’s not that he doesn’t have the talent because I know Coach has spoken to him about scouts.
I do understand obligation though. Hockey ends for me because I’m too financially and family motivated to go for it. Schlepping it out for a few years on an AHL team trying to make it to the big show, abandoning the family farm completely, it doesn’t sit right with me. I might not want to be a full-time farmer, but I still want to help. With labor and with money.
For Beck, I can hear the pain when he talks about this being his final season, and I’m insanely curious to know why he doesn’t go for it. He’s never had a problem doing whatever he wants before.
It’s dark by the time we finally leave, and I grab his hand for the short walk from the doors to his car.
He doesn’t mention it, and neither do I.
My dick starts getting interested on the drive back as I watch his large hand change gears, and his strong thighs flex with every movement. I can’t wait until we’re in my room so I can strip him naked and feel those muscles under me. And yet, I’m kinda nervous too. I’m not used to so many conflicting emotions.
I mean, it’s not like we haven’t seen each other naked before.
But I dunno, with one dinner, something’s changed.
Once he’s parked, we jump out and set a fast pace back to our dorms. My cock is aching.